whatever

2005-01-08T11:52:00.000+08:00

2004. nice year.. some ups.. a lot of downs.. came aj.. first 3 months.. played all the time.. so nice.. everyday after sch can go out.. it was like.. some dream. =/ haiz.. after that.. everyone went their own ways.. i rmb in term 2.. we had mon gatherings.. by term 3 it all stopped. i guess we had our own things going on. band took over the other part of my life. the jae class got more tgt.. i think i had fun in term 3.. but as always.. it's just the routined sch, online, sleep thing.. then term 4.. everything got so serious.. promos coming. they were still teaching. and there was still much to catch up on. =/ oh wellz.. then promos was over.. played more.. everyday in sch was just waiting to go home/band. oh yar. during promo times.. it was really sad that the band room wasnt open.. but of cos there were reasons like must conc on studies. but sad lar..

during the nov/dec hols. must be the best hols i ever had.. go out like 6 days per week or more. ahaha.. was kept busy with going out and stuff. i guess i like it that way.. get my mind off stuff. something to look forward to.. one good way to get out of the house. band took a huge part.. in a good way.. band practs, band fest, cali trip, more band practs, outings.. nice.. cant describe it all.. but it was really nice to be able to live without worrying that much abt things. that doesnt mean that i wasnt unhappy during the hols.. but it was better.. i'll nvr forget the cali trip.. loved it. ahahaa.. during the hols.. liked my tpt more.. =) very happy. my sound finally was ok (i guess). sometimes still may be airy.. depends.. oh yar.. and the tutor najib. learned a lot of things.. mainly.. it's all in ur head.. yup. that was the hols..

will nvr forget the friendships formed last year.. so cool.. and yeah.. had fun going out with all u pple.. =) hopefully still got more times lar.. haha..

2005. new year.. so far it's been.. abt a week.. not having fun. so much hw not done.. rushing thru them.. haiz.. lessons.. 2 breaks a day. i guess it's hard to adapt to.. i wish i could drop like econs or something. but i dont know.. i dont know anything.. what to do with myself?? and i keep on thinking abt band. not that it's unhealthy but it's an obsession. y do u think the first 2 paras had so much band stuff. haiz.. band is nice.. i only look forward to days with band after sch.. and durng sch.. i'm just waiting for the day to end so band can start.. haiz.. bad but i cant help it. =/ whatever.. let's just see if i crack.

i think i'm already going mad.. so much to do.. sometimes feel very stressed.. esp when things go wrong.. deadlines are due.. not enough sleep.. oversleep.. nvr do hw.. even like in sch.. have to use up the breaks.. and not enough sia.. haiz.. nvm..

last blog in here.. =/ uh.. sorry i nvr blogged much.. but yar.. anws nowadays there's no time to blog.. esp during weekdays. kinda sucky.. haiz.. so yar.. decided that my life.. cant be all recorded down. =/ aha. so nvm lo.. i guess this is it.

2004-12-10T15:05:00.000+08:00

heyzz!! i'm still in cali.. using the comp in the hotel.. haha.. it's free access.. limited for like 15 mins.. but no one's queuing up for it. firstly.. really sorry i nvr update for ages.. just that.. busy and everything i guess.. will put it somewhere else hopefully..

so far cali's been great! haha.. homestay and the sch exchange was damn fun.. loved it.. the room we (me and lynn ng) got was really nice.. they have 3 cats, 4 chinchillas, birds and fish. damn nice.. got garden and everything. the people are really really great too.. all v friendly. hahaha.. anws.. our host, renee and kim were v nice.. thou they're like 14 and 11 only. haha.. met the other band members there.. great players.. sight read once and already they played it almost perfect and all. haha.. went to a bio class (there were other classes too but this was the best) and the people were asking qns and all.. i was the only singaporean there.. then they asked what grade i was in, how old i was. they were damn shocked when i said i was 17 cos they only 14 years old. 'she looks like 8!' hahhaahahah. whatever lar.. the rest of the classes were mostly spent sleeping. haha..

today.. went to yosemite.. it's the national park.. very very beautiful.. there was ice on the ground.. hahaha.. so we sorta played with it.. like make ice balls and throw. hahaha.. fun sia.. but sadly it wasnt snowing.. think it snowed before that.. but it's ok.. and yea it's cold.. haha.. but still ok.. had the layers and everything.. so i'm fine..

sometimes wondering how everything is back there.. keep on thinking abt the bach trumpeters! haha.. dont know what to get them yet. dont know if they already had a section outing cos i told them to go ahead. hahaha.. will find a way to give them the stuff. =) and there's lotsa stuff i have to get too.. hahaha.. oh yar.. and they tried to organise a bach outing.. derno if still got a not.. either way i cant go cos will only be back next week. nvm..

still have tons of hw to do.. damn sianz.. wanna play but still have hw.. then keep thinking abt it.. sucks.. come back.. K still coming over.. still have outings.. then chem rem and everything.. haiz..

nvm.. going off soon.. think i sat here for more than 15 mins le.. but lynn told me to take my time lar.. haha.. she's bathing now.. later it's my turn.. 10+pm here. not exactly sure cos i nvr change my hp time at all.. only can agar estimate. and lights out at 1130 lo.. tmr still have to wake up by 630.. =/ but the hotel's really cool. love it.. so big.. nice beds, got tv etc etc..

anws.. liru.. take care yar.. and get well soon! =)

'I'm here and you are there miles away..'

2004-11-18T01:00:00.000+08:00

8 nov.. mon

spent the day at home.. morn and aft, played comp game.. then towards night time, tried to study for the phys spa the next day. haha.. just agar agar studied only.. didnt have much to do. sianz..

9 nov.. tues

phys spa.. was late so took taxi.. then damn early. haha.. met lynn at the foyer.. then went to lt4.. it was.. soso.. at least more normal than the PE, KE one. haha..

after that was cdp.. started with this talk.. was ok lar.. yeah.. then lunch.. damn early.. it was soso.. they said the first day's food was better. haha..

so we went to the stations.. got a lot.. all games and stuff.. other than losing the first 2 games, the rest we either drawed or won the other class.. haha.. it was fun.. could feel the class spirit.. esp with all that cheering and stuff.. the games were fun.. didnt expect to enjoy myself that much. haha.. no time to elab on all the stations and stuff.. but we were pretty occupied the whole time. one of the games i liked was Crazy Maze. haha.. gave ronald instructions and stuff.. haha.. at least he nvr kena any paint..

at the end there was a finale.. quite long.. they showed us the pics they took.. got a lot for 2104.. haha.. then the cheering comp thing.. the class was super enthu.. haha.. we were the 2nd class to go on stage and cheer.. did the hokkien cheer and 'we are the ones' haha.. nice.. in the end got 3rd!! haha.. given light sticks after that.. they talked this and that.. then the 933 DJ, peifen came to celeb yong kuan's and eli's bdae.. haha.. along with other pple whose bdae was coming up.. damn nice.. btw.. she's chio also~! haha.. the whole atmosphere was great.. so high..

anws.. george is now hailed as the AJ idol! haha.. he did his cheer many many times and the whole audi went wild. haha..

after everything was over, a few of us went to AMK hawker to eat dinner.. stayed there and talked until kinda late then go home.. haha..

had a great day.. been so long since i cheered like that.. went home.. damn tired..

2004-11-17T23:55:00.000+08:00

i'm really really sorry for doing this so late.. but these days not much time.. everyday go home super tired.. what to do.. so here goes..

7 nov, Sunday.

pae 2204 class outing to sentosa.. it's been kinda long since we all saw each other.. so it was good.. then cos the prev night i slept late, i woke up late, then was late for meeting them.. =S came at abt 945.. met them at Macs, then we were off!

went to the bus place.. very very similar to last time.. yup.. but we took the bus to Palawan this time.. then go there and walk walk for a while.. tried to play vball but.. pple like me very cmi at vball.. =S haiz.. so yar.. we just played awhile then decided to play something like monkey. also for a while only.. haha..

later we walked across the bridge.. to the little island.. haha.. it was nice.. then we went up some tower which wasnt that high. could see the mainland sentosa and stuff.. haha.. stayed there and enjoyed the scenery, talk etc etc.. nice view.. lol..

towards the aft when everyone was hungry, we decided to head back. haha.. saw dogs swimming and stuff.. dogs just rock. =) took the tram.. haha.. it made a whole round before we got off. and it was.. kinda slow. but nvm lar.. can sit and talk talk.. finally got to the monorail station, then took the monorail to BK. it was also kinda slow.. but can talk lar..

went BK to eat.. same as last time also.. haha.. the whole place seems.. more familiar i guess.. as usual we couldnt finish the fries and stuff. =/ hahaa.. eat until damn full.. then go back.. walked by the underwater world there.. haha.. we were looking at the turtles when suddenly there was some loud sound. to me it sounded like someone hit their head on the wall or something. THUD. i stoned for a while.. too scared to turn back ba. when i did, i think all of us were looking at each other wondering what on earth happed. in the end found out that the ball in lihao's bag burst.. kinda amazing. too hot ba.. but sadly no more ball to play with le..

went to Siloso beach to kayak.. haha.. first time kayaking.. very fast then arms ached.. =S weak. oh.. partnered with keni on the kayak. haha.. so she taught me to kayak.. haha.. all was ok until ZH came and took keni's paddle. haha.. actually i derno who lar.. nvr noticed until the paddle was gone.. =X so left me to paddle.. then after a while kena attacked again.. so we were left paddleless. kinda stranded in the sea. -____- haha.. waited for the current to sweep us to the shore.. then stuck.. keni went out to push.. aiyo.. somehow in the end we got back our paddles so can le. haha.. the others also had their paddles taken.. haha.. but it was fun lar..

hmm.. after we finished kayaking, we stayed in the water.. play play talk talk.. then ZH saw BH on the shore so he went to talk to him and stuff.. but later heaved him up on his shoulder.. haha.. wanted to throw him into the sea mar.. but BH tried to defend himself by scratching clawing ZH's back.. after that it was damn red.. haiyo.. guys.. claw.. haiz.. haha.. then later HW got thrown into the water by ZH.. halfway thru.. he suddenly disappeared.. we were kinda worried.. until someone said they saw him on the shore.. so ok..

after soaking in the sea, we went to play frisbee.. haha.. fun lar.. after that played daidee for a while.. my skills suck lar. haha.. nvm.. arnd that time i checked my hp.. xian jie called.. but i think i called back too late.. =( then in the end she nvr come eat with us..

later we go bathe.. erm yar.. then took bus back to harbourfront.. ate dinner at the harbourfront centre. haha.. the food court there.. no space.. then there was some guy sitting at one table.. we joined the rest of the tables up but still not enough space for everyone.. then sharon said that the guy shld go somewhere or something.. haha.. then he heard and really shifted to another table.. haha.. she felt v paiseh.. poor girl.. so we ordered food and ate.. she didnt eat much of her noodles. haiyo.. still owe her money..

after eating, as usual.. sat and talked abt stuff.. then left the place.. haha.. some went to get ice cream etc.. took pics.. talked.. finally we left the place.. took nel.. then slowly everyone left.. haha.. i was the last one on the train outta the 2204 pple lar. was damn damn tired.. haha..

fun day.. but this time not that many pple got go.. hope next time got more pple go.. yeah..

2004-11-06T01:44:00.000+08:00

hopefully this is short.. really very sorry that i havent been blogging.. but.. haiz. i derno. partly cos there's been OP and chi and everything. OP was soso.. just glad that it's over. i think our group wins for the thinnest file! haha.. jkjk.. it's quality that counts. hahaha.. then chi was.. *toot* i derno.. scary. left 20 mins for the first 4 sections in paper 2. whatever lar. anyhow do.

i dont know why.. all those are over and i still feel terrible. like something's bothering me. there's a lot of band stuff i need to do. settle all the instruments, clean the mould on more than 2 tpt cases, oil the valves, grease the slides, teach them. the set piece came out.. today just practed it.. quite.. bad. harder than the prev 2 i've played. =/ what can i expect. need to do a list of actions to be taken to improve the section. need to buy more clothes for the trip. get 50 bucks from daddy. he owes me big. quite crowded manz.. my brain is like almost full up. god. so many dates to rmb.. yar.. but it's been fun these few days. =)

erm yar.. tmr shld be fun too.. secret.. haha.. then sun pae 2204 class outing. yup. kinda happy there are such stuff going on to keep me occupied. somemore i need to find pple to play scissors paper stone with me.. the beating one.. derno y i'm addicted to it le. hahahha..

ok great i think i'm going nuts. i need a break. argh. isnt it supposed to be the hols now? haiz.. think that's it for now.. need sleep..

2004-10-24T01:53:00.000+08:00

almost 2am..

this week was kinda sianz.. normal timetable most of the time.. and band on 2 days only.. thurs stayed in sch until the exco finished their meeting then went out to amk mos to eat with lixin and hanming.. wed went to hougang point to eat with frankie and jia xin.. fri hadta rush home for pw.. =/

then today.. got the OP thing.. quite ok lar.. after that some of us went amk hawker to eat lunch then go town walk walk.. yup.. on the way keni met quite a lot of her friends. we went to some shops and just looked arnd.. reached home before 6pm.

after that was tv, comp, sleep, now comp again. missed dinner cos i slept at 8+. eating now.. =/

tmr have pw again.. have to type stuff.. think tmr morn then do.. BUT have to wake up early.. so gonna sleep le.. nitezz..

2004-10-21T01:02:00.000+08:00

not much to blog abt.. haiz.. normal timetable for a few days.. argh.. damn sianz.. *sigh*

got pw to do.. haiz.. and i'm soso tired.. wanna go sleep.. but cant lar.. have to do..

band today was sad. dowan say le.. just that we didnt give it all lar.. and i forgot to bring the book *knock my head* argh..

derno if i shld drop subs.. this that reasons.. =/ haiz.. too tired to type all here lar.. still deciding.. maybe go J2 then say.. =/ but i think if i'm dropping, it'll most prob be econs.. really dont like writing essays.. somemore there's no right or wrong ans.. just vomit all the stuff u have and leave it up to the marker. argh. not like chem and phys.. there's a more definite ans i guess.. thou yeah i know that the sciences are in a way more.. i-derno-what subjects. whatever lar. so maybe it's not as flexible and stuff like econs, but i dont care.. i'm a pure science girl k.. dont think i can take arts sub.. like essay those.. cant really write properly also.. BUT econs is fun cosa the common sense part.. all the mcqs.. will miss them lor.. not the paper 2 and 3 thou. haha.. see how lar.. maybe see next year.. if not happy then drop lor..

another problem.. chi.. haiz.. how.. the days are flying by.. there's band and op and pw and stuff. haiz.. everyday come home then so tired.. how to do anything.. haiz.. wanna sleep.. still have to read.. =S haiz.. what to do..

serious craving for chocos..

and my instrument spoilt today.. the wire for the saliva valve thing broke due to old age ba.. =( now have to wait for the repairman.. then i used jessie's instrument today.. tmr maybe going down to find an unused one.. then have to oil the instruments.. see if tmr got the time and mood to do a not.. if not then maybe fri.. haiz.. my beloved tpt.. damn saddening.. derno when it'll be fixed also.. =/ wanxin said my tone actually okok.. think is when i use more air lar.. and jessie's instrument.. will get one something liddat.. quite nice using except that the first valve keeps getting stuck.. my fault.. my wrong way of pressing the valves. thanks wanxin.. =)

late.. almost 2am.. derno what i wanna do.. didnt do any hw.. haiz.. pw pw pw pw. sianz.

2004-10-11T20:59:00.000+08:00

today.. had phys spa.. which wasnt exactly easy.. basically i think i just crapped a whole lot of nonsense.. haiz.. nvm.. got other chances i think.. after sch i went to hougang mall for a while.. walk walk.. then go hougang point.. then home.. by then i was really really tired.. MSN wasnt working.. so i hit the pillows.. that time was arnd 430..

was having a nice time somewhere faraway from here when mommy woke me up.. tried to go back to sleep but was repeatedly reminded to go out and get Randy from sch.. and buy dinner.. i wouldnt mind it if she waved a 50 buck note in front of my face. what am i saying.. got up soon.. didnt even bother combing my hair again. think i looked like an old hag with a schbag. had $12 to buy food..

rushed to Rosyth and finally found Randy and Jeremy (his friend) then brought them to the coffeeshop to buy dinner.. took some time.. and hadta control them.. wasnt feeling that great cos i guess i wanted to be in dreamland for longer.. argh.. and on the way they kept playing.. well.. it's impt for kids to play i guess.. =/ walked Jeremy up to his house.. then went home.. spent $5 for dinner.. meaning that $7 was for me to keep.. =)

sigh.. but i dont know.. it gets kinda irritating when u're the one doing everything while everyone else gets to slack at home.. and mommy actually wanted me to go hougang point at night to get milk powder for PB (Randy). how many trips do i have to make man.. haiz.. very tired..

came home and online.. have been listening to 2 band songs for the past.. 2 hours or so.. band starts on wed.. and from then we have 3 days to learn one new song.. for the openhouse on sat.. it's either one of the 2 songs i'm listening to.. tpt part kinda high.. better still, one of the songs have a soli and solo part.. so not the type of song to play for openhouse.. think we go there and throw face only.. but we'll try lar.. see how.. haiz.. if both songs CMI then it's back to basic songs.. =/ haiz.. so fast.. derno lar..

ok.. gotta clear my dishes and do something else.. haiz..

2004-10-10T22:31:00.000+08:00

ok... for the weekend there wasnt much to do.. mainly spent a lot of time with my bed and Piggy. hahaha.. and of cos there was the comp and tv..

totally didnt go out at all on Sat.. mostly slept the day away.. and there were nice shows to watch.. =) finally watched Yi Tian Tu Long Ji. hahhaa.. all the fighting and stuff not bad sia.. anws.. was using the comp at night as usual.. then suddenly there was a small blackout.. cos the fuse in the comp i was using blew.. erm.. i guess the comp consumed too much electricity ba.. so the lights and fans were off and stuff.. it wasnt until the circuit was reconnected that we had electricity again. didnt take that long.. but all the comps couldnt work..

had slight withdrawal ytd cosa it.. hadta go to sleep arnd 12 when i already slept 3-4 hours in the day.. haiz.. nothing to do at home besides online and sleep when there aint any nice shows to watch.. plus no food at home to eat..

then Sun.. morn was spent on PW.. we went to Chun Wei's house do.. finished it quite fast then spent the rest of the time watching tv.. hahhaha.. by early aft then go home le.. slept the day away.. by evening the fuse on the comp was taken out so everything's back to normal.. just that everyone else beat me to that comp.. =/ nvm lar huh.. haha.. got comp to use good liaoz.. =)

haven't studied for tmr's spa.. but wth!! haha.. prob tmr then study..

2004-10-08T23:27:00.000+08:00

heyz.. today was great.. haha.. enjoyed the whole day.. =)

first there was econs in the morn.. argh.. i ALMOST late for sch.. damn. woke up a bit late, took my time, went to the bus stop later than usual and just missed a bus, realised my wallet was still at home, went up and back again, just missed another bus, and i think the traffic out there was shitty. hahaha.. then so funny.. me, chun wei and mei si sit at the back of the bus.. then we 3 all studying.. haha..

so after we got outta the bus there was abt 4 mins left.. we ran practically all the way to sch.. passed the holding area just as the bell rang. whew.. if not i'll tio CWO.. haha.. so econs came and went.. soon the class was deciding where to go and stuff..

we took MRT to Orchard.. go cine there and eat at BK.. haha.. also during then decided on watching White Chicks later. hmm... after eating, the guys and Shi Qi went to play pool while the rest of us went to Heeren.. go HMV there and listen to songs.. haha.. spent the whole time at the chi songs section.. then we walked arnd.. see shops and stuff.. soon came to the place where got the neoprint machines.. wahahha.. so of cos we took neoprints.. the machine kinda different.. got sofa and stuff.. and the decorating thing didnt have a time limit unless there were other pple taking neoprints. haha.. so we spent a lot of time decorating it..

after all that.. think one of the guys called keni.. said that the show start le.. at that time it was abt 3pm ba.. and the show supposed to start at 315. haha.. anws we were all kinda sad abt missing part of the show.. rushed over to cine again.. haha.. a bit kan cheong lar, but cant help it cos not nice to miss movie.. somemore the guys said they there already laughing. hahaha..

the lift went up to the 5th floor.. opened.. and waddya know.. some of the guys were there.. hahahha.. yuan lai they just bluffing us. ... haha.. so we waited for everyone to gather then went inside.. the show was hilarious. laughed and laughed like mad.. overall nice lar.. really a light-hearted comedy.. plot all that ok.. =) oh yar.. and got so many nice songs during the show.. hahah.. one word: great. haha..

stepping outta the theatre.. mood was kinda high.. hahah.. nice feeling.. went out of cine and gathered for a while.. finally just walked to Wisma there.. and walk arnd.. see shops etc.. then when there was nothing else to do, we just went home.. that was arnd 6+pm ba.. had a wonderful time.. =)

but i didnt go home.. was gonna meet Kaye.. send her off.. yeah.. have been trying to contact her thru her junior's phone the whole day.. but it wasnt until late aft that i got thru.. yeah.. so i took the train all the way to Changi from Orchard.. nice ride.. at Changi.. was kinda worried that my phone would auto off cos left 1 batt.. but i found them in time lar.. before that damn coincidental.. met Ee Teng and Ji Xiang. wahhahaha.. so yeah.. me and Ee Teng sat at the table with Kaye and Donna, her junior. talked abt stuff as usual.. the catching up.. asking how's everything.. haha.. oh yar.. we 3 were seatmates.. with Kaye in the middle.. kinda miss those days.. and still rmb the day Kaye left S'pore for Philipines.. sometime in the dec hols last year.. me and Ee Teng missed her by a few mins.. could only watch the planes fly by..

but today we saw her off.. haha.. then after some discussion on where to go, Donna went back to the Dunman High Hostel, while me, Ee Teng and Ji Xiang went to parkway to eat dinner. hahaha.. i go be lightbulb siaz.. but ee teng said it was ok.. then since havent eaten yet so went to eat with them.. haha.. ate some mini steamboat thing.. until really late.. abt 10pm.. we were the last customers to leave the place.. after that they walked me to the bus stop.. took 76 to old house, 156 home. yeah.. it's been fun talking to them.. wahaha.. then reach home at 11pm..

wish the bus ride in 76 wouldnt end.. bus/mrt rides are always so nice.. the longer and the colder the better.. wanna sit in a bus from one int to the other.. used to do that in sec 4 ba.. cos 73 just rocks.. =) but yeah.. 76 was a long journey.. slept in the bus.. tired mar.. no aft nap.. haha.. but it was really great.. =) overall i really enjoyed the day.. haha.. tmr and sun will be damn free thou.. haha.. see how.. maybe i just dao chu liu lang. =)

2004-10-06T21:30:00.000+08:00

it's been... awhile. i have no idea. i come online almost every night. =/ haiz whatever.. so far promos have been a killer. and i worry for most of the papers.. GP dont pass, drop one sub. chi dont pass, kena scolding. for the core subs.. have to lower my standards. argh. WTF is their prob manz. promos dont have to be that hard. fricking discouraging.. haiz..

left phys, chem spa, econs paper 1 and 2, phys spa. havent done much for phys but i cant get off the comp. argh. and my mind keeps on digressing.. to the hols..

california trip.. cant wait to get away from here. mabel will be happy since i'm outta the room.. then she'll invite PB to sleep on my bed.. and he'll be hugging Piggy. will miss my bed.. my pillows.. bolster.. Piggy.. people.. and yar the comp.. and my songs in it.. and my phone (i derno if it works there). today talked to mdm foo abt it a bit.. she says got some slight changes.. either we go there from 2-8 dec and miss WASBE or stick to 6-12 but add an extra day.. 13dec.. then that day go Los Angeles.. cant wait..

still got other stuff.. outings.. everything swarming in my mind.. dates.. open house, WASBE, cali trip, class outing, pae class outing.. then K's coming to S'pore again on thurs night.. that's tmr.. think fri meeting her.. maybe class going out.. haiz..

9+ le.. got Charmed to watch.. after that then do phys. damn sianz lar.. =/ 2 more days..

2004-09-30T16:48:00.000+08:00

today it was drizzling the whole day.. would have been better if the drizzle was heavier or something.. pei me on my way home. =/ came early to sch today. as usual. esp after i got so sianz of coming late all the time and having to run into sch to make it before the bell rings. could've came earlier thou. have been missing the 655 bus everyday. =/

lessons/lects as usual. so sianz. yeah.. but overall the day passed quite fast. soon it was end of sch. stayed back for quite some time. mainly just sat arnd and listened. then finally everyone gathered.. got cake and stuff.. they played with cake and water etc.. then finish liaoz so i went home while some stayed back to study. yeah.

for those who asked.. i'll be fine i guess. =/ ahaha.

2004-09-30T16:26:00.000+08:00

Simple Plan - Welcome to my Life

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you?
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me...

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles
And stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me...

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work
It was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

nice lyrics. song okok only. =/ love the lyrics.

2004-09-25T14:02:00.000+08:00

exams in one week. i shld be studying. just lost all mood for that thanks to some pple who piss me off. GOD. dont feel like talking abt it. 'DON'T BE CRAZY AND TURN ON THE RADIO AND MUSIC FROM THE COMP. ONE DAY I'LL TAKE UR HP AND THROW IT ON THE FLOOR.' both were damn soft and u were going out anws. u could just walk out quickly dammit. u dont have to listen. u nvr did.

Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time
Doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

sch has been damn stressful. seeing everyone mugging.. haiz.. and i'm still struggling with the huge load of hw. repeated last week's thurs to fri thing. meaning sleeping until 1am then waking up to do work. didnt mean to. a nap at 8pm just turned into sleep time.

fri at econs lect i KO-ed after 2s of putting my head on the table. slept thruout the whole thing SO soundly. haiz. and i wonder wth i'm doing to myself. nvm. this week.. have been feeling damn tired for god-knows-what reason. haiz.. nvm.. will have to pia soon.. fri also had pe.. very fun since we were in an all girl group. haha.. what else.. Ms Tan also talked to us abt the promos and stuff.. haiz.. yeah i know i hafta work a lot harder.. been slacking too much.. haiz..

maybe going out today to get something. ahaha. besides that.. think the weekend is gonna be.. this str horizontal line - boring.

random thots: children who are born out of wedlock are called 'bastards'. but it's not the child's fault right? what abt kids created before marriage? it's so not right, esp if after a few years, the parents just say 'no more love'. what if abortion was an option? what would happen to the kids? so many years have gone and still i havent found an ans. =/

2004-09-17T23:41:00.000+08:00

Yeah, I know it hurts
Yeah, I know you're scared
Walkin' down the road that leads
To Who-Knows-Where

Don't ya hang your head
Don't ya give up yet
When courage starts
To disappear
I will be right here

When your world
Breaks down
And the voices tell you,
Turn around
When your dreams give out
I will carry you
Carry you
When the stars go blind
And the darkness starts to
Flood your eyes
When you're fallin' behind
I will carry you

Everybody cries
Everybody bleeds
No one ever
Said that life's
An easy thing
That's the beauty of it
When you lose your way
Close your eyes
And go to sleep
Wake up to
Another day

When your world
Breaks down
And the voices tell you,
Turn around
When your dreams give out
I will carry you
Carry you
When the stars go blind
And the darkness starts to
Flood your eyes
When you're fallin' behind
I will carry you

You should know now
That you're not alone
Take my heart and we will find
You will find
Your way home

When your dreams
give out
I will carry you
Carry you
When the stars
Go blind
And the darkness starts to
Flood your eyes
When you've fallen
Behind
I will carry you
Carry you
I will carry you
Carry you

damn nice song.. if i could i'd put all the nice song lyrics up, but unfortunately there isnt much space, plus i'm damn lazy. crap. it's just a nice song. =)

2004-09-17T22:59:00.000+08:00

it's been a long, long time.. *sigh*

updates.. there was a pae 2204 class gathering on wed, 15/9. we went to amk s11 and ate dinner and talked.. so nice.. catch up with one another.. got me, keni, sharon, siew wei, xiao min came for a while, han wei, zong han, chansey, zhen xing, jasper, hong ming, boon heng, then lihao and eunice (*ahem*) came for a while.. yeah.. not bad lar.. got to see pple i havent seen for a while.. =) laughed abt so many things.. esp with zong han and lihao suaning everyone. they also brought up the incident abt them, the broom and the swearing. haha.. last time lessons were so much better.. =/ haiz.. stayed there from 6+ to 9+ then go home le..

thurs.. watched some video on cloning for gp. =/ so against cloning. still dont get why some pple wanna do it on humans. blardy cruel lar. then my whole bio clock went haywired. slept from 6-12am then woke up. so sianz. not many pple online le. from then till 5+am i tried doing hw. at least i'm ok for some subs le. maths still damn lag, buay tahan.

pe was.. whatever. then lunch, me, keni, joanna, ming wei, jun ming and yek wai went to amk central to buy cake and lunch (apple strudel mostly). we didnt even eat there cos hadta rush back to sch. 40mins. on time. so during chi we ate 'lunch'. damn hungry the whole day. imagine not eating dinner and stuffing urself with choco-coated raisins in the middle of the night. gonna come down with sore throat. no band so nvm. one day i'll just buy lotsa medication. stayed back in sch to do the gp aq and phys skill A thing. =/

on the bus home i suddenly rmbed that today Kaye was gonna come to S'pore today.. tried contacting the number she gave me but the calls couldnt get thru and no one replied the sms. reached home and contacted a few pple, before erlin helped me to get to K.. so K called me and i went to Orchard to meet her.. hadta call Keni cos i didnt know how to get to Kino. my sense of direction just sucks + i dont look arnd when i go to places. so yar.. finally found K in Kino.. so good to see her again.. then soon, Vidia came (K's indonesian friend, now in VJ). so we walked arnd for a while, talked abt JC etc.. finally we went to Orchard MRT and sat on the steps to talk.. like how life in NZ was for K.. her friends etc.. and of cos there were the memories of cedar and how she often teased me and stuff. haha.. those were the days.. first day of sch in sec 3, line up according to height and sit.. so she's just a little bit taller than me. haha.. would love to go to her house in Philipines one day.. the farm with lotsa animals.. then we'd talk abt how we'd go to Europe tgt and explore when we're old enough.. *sigh* seems like everything's so different this year.. she in NZ, me here.. =/ but i guess we'll meet up soon again.. see when she comes back. =) didnt sit there for long.. at 10, K and Vidia took cab to the Dunman hostel, while i took train. *sigh*

damn tired now lar. half an hour more to 24 hours since i woke up. so sianz. maybe i go sleep soon lar.. *SigH* eyes hurting like crazy. and i SWEAR my degree went up thanks to staring at the comp screen every night and straining my eyes to open up and glare back. great huh.

2004-09-06T22:49:00.000+08:00

ok.. so far things arent looking that great.. =( i dont know..

to you.. i've been very very worried abt u.. feel like breaking down myself too.. but in a way i cant.. visited u today.. good to see that u're coping ok.. seemed ok too.. but somehow i think it's good if u let out what's inside.. keeping things inside sometimes not so good.. u're a really strong girl emotionally.. nvr fails to amaze me.. cos i realise that i'm not that strong after all.. yeah.. wanna be there for u when u need someone.. cant gurantee that i'll always be free.. but i'll try to be.. at least when u need someone to talk to.. must take care of urself k.. if not wo bu neng fang xin..bu zhi dao wei she mo, wo yi zhi xiang ni..

hope to see u again soon.. =)

2004-09-05T08:49:00.000+08:00

y am i up so early on a sunday? cos last night i slept at 10++pm. bad. haiz.

ytd morn was occupied with the chem make up lect and skill A thing. Mr Ng really good at teaching. the 1st lecture passed kinda fast. then the skill A thing was mainly just copying some stuff so it was ok too.

band later. had band pract first cos Ms Tan had something else in the afternoon. so ok lo.. actually Ms TaN is quite a good teacher/conductor.. made us sing/hum the notes first and stuff. so at least we know how it sounds like. warm ups werent too long.. just enough.. =) then we went thru the 4 songs. puszta, jericho, festive overture and merry widow. haha.. then we play lo.. not bad.. i didnt feel bored or anything. for puszta, i think we (tptes) played most of the parts.. last time just lost lost then skip. now better.. that solo part would be ok if Ms Tan didnt make me play without the band. yar. maybe cos we watch her more.. can play on time.. but still there are parts were we dont play tgt. =( jericho.. a lot of pple's fav song. =) it's not bad.. the rhythm just gets stuck in ur head.. the Victory part rocks too, thou Yong Cheun said he couldnt hear tpts having the melody. will play louder next time. =) but the rhythm parts were ok. festive is the worst song among the 4. blardy high for tpters. or maybe it's just 1st tpt. want me to blow high A for derno how many bars. siao. but this time we werent that lost lar.. still need to pract it during sectionals (so Ms Tan says to everybody). Merry Window!! i'm playing 2nd tpt!! and 2nd tpt rocks. (whaddya expect from someone in 2nd for 4 years then now struggling with 1st?) then ZL playing 1st tpt. he's not bad. =) must scold more. jkjk. merry widow was nice cos we could play. easy notes (my part) and rhythm was ok. nvr get lost. =)

overall Ms Tan said we improved (frankie says Ms Tan says. i didnt hear it myself..) very happy.. hopefully when we have the Cat High exchange thing, we'll be ok.. then Ms Tan wont say that our tpters bi3 bu4 shang4 theirs.. thou of cos we suck more. yeah.. band pract ended.. Ben Tan called me a madwoman just for laughing at something. ahahahha. then lunchtime.. went with Jessie to NYP Mac to eat. ZL stayed back to pract, WS went ANK KFC i think.

came back for sectionals. of cos no one's in the mood for sectionals.. haiz.. actually sectionals are all not very productive.. derno also.. nobody really takes it seriously or something. haiz. then i also very fan2. halfway then go somewhere else to slack a while. =/ did a bit here, a bit there.. altgt not much. sianz.. next time i think it'll be better if the whole brass section plays tgt.. nvm..

band ended for the day with some cake and blah blah.. *censored* a few of us went out to town.. got me, keni, hweiyun, lixin came a bit later, han ming, frankie and yong cheun. hmm.. mainly just walked arnd.. cos we didnt know what to do.. yup.. go some shops and look look.. then we walked until Wisma then decided to buy some food to eat.. only ate a bit cos mommy told me there was porridge at home. after eating we sat at somewhere, just talk talk and stuff.. hahaha.. quite funny lar. =) after that me, keni and yc went home.. frankie left earlier. yeah.. by then was quite tired le.. went home.. online for a few mins then went to sleep le.. haiz..

xin fan. feel like a tiny speck surrounded in darkness. god. sometimes being in darkness is good.. but sometimes it's not.. so many things.. haiz.. i derno what to do.. feel so.. lost.

2004-09-03T20:02:00.000+08:00

just came home from sectionals.. will talk abt that later.. go according to the day..

wed.. went out with liru!! haha.. then her bro and gf went to watch the movie with us also.. watched avp.. woah. effects and all were super nice.. haha.. and it was kinda scary.. so many pple were killed. (yar for a person like me who doesnt play the avp game i'm kinda fascinated yar.) very very thrilling.. half the time i was holding onto myself.. didnt know what was gonna happen next.. woah. but some parts a bit funny, like when Lex got her shield thing. haiz.. kinda sad that the girl with short blonde hair died.. =( nvm.. overall a good show! was still thinking abt it after we left the theatre.. haha..

after the show, liru's bro and his gf left le. then both of us went to Pastamania to eat dinner. haha.. my 2nd time eating at Pasta. quite nice sia.. =) anws, the wall was painted with some sign that said 'no msg zone'. at first i thot it was 'no message zone'.. until liru figured out that it's 'MSG'. aiyo.. whack my head ar.. lol.. so we spent some time there.. then walked arnd J8.. supposed to try to find something erm.. erm.. but the stuff there were too cute lar.. so yar.. while walking arnd we saw Keni!! haha.. quite qiao. in the end, me and liru stood somewhere and talked abt stuff.. yeah.. damn nice.. =)

then i rmb that i had some hw to do.. haiz.. so we went home.. then she so nice.. walked me to the bus stop thou its kinda far from the mrt station.. =) thanks girl! yar.. so got someone to accompany me until my bus come.. then chatted somemore with her.. then my bus came.. went home le.. haha.. liru.. thanks for waiting with me for the bus.. =) it was a damn long wait, but at least i had u to talk to!! =) haha.. had a great wed..

thurs.. i *think* i finished most of my hw.. could pass up all the econs stuff for once. lessons as usual.. cant rmb much le.. the whole day was feeling kinda tired/sleepy.. double gp, double chi.. chi was ok in that we could hear stories.. after that still got econs rem.. then go home.. one of the days i get to go home so early. =/

today was ok.. we played captains ball with 19/04 girls for pe.. haha.. quite fun lar.. very entertaining.. lol.. half the time we were laughing and screaming or something. lol.. not bad lar.. time passed kinda fast.. then we went canteen to celebrate Jian Wei's bdae during break. the rest of the day was kinda dead. after cv got sectionals.. haiz.. haiz.. probs probs probs. nvm.. then went home with jessie and wei shan. =/ end of day. hols filled up with stuff to do.. no time sia.. i honestly dont know what to do sometimes.

life is so fricked up. haiz.

2004-08-31T23:24:00.000+08:00

stayed up late last night derno for what also.. but today hadta wake up early to go sch early for band. so shuang, we can wear band tee.. yeah.. then did warm ups, packed up and stuff.. oh yar.. then when we were in the audi waiting to go to the hall, i almost fa1 huo3 cos that zl nvr take the stand, then just left it at some benches.. kaoz.. nvm.. at least after that we got another stand. playing wasnt as good as ytd's.. but i think got enough air lar.. stamina still need to work on.. by the time we played heal the world, the last part, i already buay tahan. =/ air flow not that great compared to ytd.. nvm.. =) glad that it's over.. and for the fact that we're sitting on the 3rd row, so we were blocked from the masses. cant stand to see pple staring and staring. oh yar!! the duet was ok! =) at least for my part.. think zl was ok too.. i got trip on some notes but the high part was fine.. =) happy liaoz.. too bad next time the songs we play wont be this easy.. =/

after the band performance, we came in for the finale thing also. haha.. just did some actions and stuff.. then back to the band room.. met sarah soon after that to go back to cedar. paiseh make u wait so long.. =S

cedar.. so long nvr go back le.. saw some juniors.. haha.. still owe them treat sia. this year only a few pple go back.. cos most of the 4O pple go SJI see Gary Sim. haha.. wonder how he is also.. Ms Chiam not here le.. =/ nobody much to see.. so we went to the canteen, saw the rest of the group who came later. talked for a while.. nurul came then and we gave her the pres.

me, mabel, jas z and sarah went to walk arnd the sch. not many pple left le. yar.. the toilets all so so nice.. miss the band room (couldnt go in cos locked).. and the classrooms.. FIXED classrooms.. rmb last time.. always sit in front (only lower sec then got to sit in the 2nd and 4th row. 4th row can sleep sia..) then my seatmates.. esp Kaye!! 1.5 years with her.. both out tables always so messy.. no space to put books then put on the floor.. can leave books in sch and nothing much ever happens to them.. then the table underneath always stuffed full, unless i pack, which is almost nvr. haiz.. =/ miss cedar.. then now also some areas more artistic.. got painted pillars and stuff.. kinda cool.. =)

after me and mabel took our Certs, a buncha us went to TP Mac to eat.. sit there and talk talk also.. got sarah, jas z, julia, nurul and 2 of us. halfway the both of us hadta rush to PS to meet rev and kam.. haha.. they say wanna treat us then in the end we ate already.. =X nvm.. so we just walked arnd for a while.. saw chansey there.. ate at swensons.. wahahha.. me and mabel just kopped kam's and rev's food.. cos already too full to eat. but later they bought 1 ice cream then 4 of us share.. lol.. so nice.. ice cream always rocks. =) walked arnd PS for a while.. erm.. went to some shops i nvr thot of going into. =/ ahahaha.. rev bought make up. then liddat go home le..

2004-08-30T22:45:00.000+08:00

k.. first of all.. the whole internet system was down on sun so i spent the whole day from sun afternoon wondering what to do with myself.. so lost without the comp.. but anws there was so much hw to be done.. haiz.. and hadta meet antonio to get the Oligopoly cd.

anws.. near evening liddat i realised that all the cd drives were either spoilt or were not there. so.. couldnt do econs. but i did the newspaper article and the essay. blah.. then do the newspaper cuttings for gp until so late.. abt 145 liddat.. took caffeine at abt 12.. so it took awhile before i could get to sleep. before i knew it, the alarm rang at 4.. didnt wake up until 615.

lessons came and went.. felt kinda sleepy for some.. but yar.. breaks spent worrying abt hw not done.. passed up a really not good reading file.. then the newspaper article and essay no need to hand in today.. =/ nvm..

after sch.. 4pm.. left bag outside the band room cos havent opened yet.. then me and keni went to the locker area to put stuff.. =/ some other pple going for class outing.. but we got band pract.. then my pw group also went for an interview thing.. i nvr go.. nvm.. then 445 liddat we went band room.. i hadta photocopy something, pass something up.. then me and frankie went to nyp to buy back some food.

kaoz.. rush and rush and rush. =/ i cant walk that fast lar.. tired.. anws.. bought back the food.. good thing got arnd enough for all those arnd there at that time and wanted to eat something. =) yeah.. so we were all outside the band room, like there was some party going on. haha.. i ate enough to give me energy to play.. =) mac's ice lemon tea rocks!

then by the time they took attendance, only me and wei shan was there (among tpters). did warm ups with her, which was really really good.. =) yay.. then packed our stuff and went to the hall for pract.. before that, the band was in AJ square, just blowing stuff.. so me and ZL were coached.. just blew out, opened up. hopefully it helps.. =) then when go to the hall, we were ok. for once i just blew and didnt care if i was blowing too loudly or if my sound sucked. (my sound was ok) anws.. at the AJ square, wey man said that ZL's sound was heavier than mine, stronger, travel further. haiz.. then he said 'i know why already. cos you're not a guy.' haiz.. da ge ah da ge.. damn saddening.. one day i'll make sure i use as much air as he does.

yeah.. the hall one was ok.. gave it a lot a lot of effort.. not bad lar.. then by the time they made us play again for mdm foo, i was damn damn tired already.. cannot take it.. notes all very high.. wanna squeeze out also hard.. yar.. but in the end it was ok.. felt like puking due to the air at my throat.. but nvm.. soon it was ok.. stood at the front of the stage to let Duan Jie hear us (me and zl) play the duet.. then everything finalised le.. =) quite happy.. if can play liddat for tmr i very happy le..

went back to the band room after it ended.. me and nortilla rested a while on the sofas.. so nice.. pillows and all.. exhausted.. but by the time i woke up i was feeling better.. so yar.. =) then slacked arnd for a while before going to Northpoint to meet sarah to see the pres and pay her.. home sweet home..

damn happy that the comps can work le.. =) one night nvr go online and i missed a bit of stuff.. nvm.. haha.. tmr teacher's day concert.. pray everything goes well.. =) pray i have enough air, enough courage to just blow, enough stamina to last me thru, for my section, follow timing, play their best, nice tone, nobody get sore throat, nobody fall sick.. pray for enough. =D

gonna sleep le.. tmr gotta go sch early..

2004-08-28T23:47:00.000+08:00

tired.. everyday it's the same thing.. one day i shld just take a super long nap and maybe nvr wake up.

but no.. anws.. phys today.. at least i dont think i'll do as badly as econs.. was better after a while.. =) but the test was hard.. 3 big qns on cm and gv i totally didnt know how to do. but hopefully pof is ok.. good enough to get a pass.. yeah.

after that was band.. had rehearsal in the hall. it sucked.. haiz.. very very disappointing. was pissed off cosa something. 'u everyday also pissed off one.' yeah i know.. haiz.. not that i wanna.. just some situations lar.. then bu shuang bu shuang. ok nvm.. not pissed off with my section lar.. they're all nice pple.. =) but we need to improve.. =/ some other issues and blah. so yar.. mood kinda low today.. not good.. anws the playing in the hall was so weak. WEAK. not enough air. not following timing. playing was so bad that pple also got tell me. haiz.

go eat lunch, nyp again.. hungry but just ate enough to feel full.. need to be full to play. then go back band room, had pract in the hall.. =/ this time at least okok.. duet still screwed up lar. =( the rest soso.. haiz.

when it ended, we played badminton and captain's ball in sch, until kinda late.. haha.. i guess it was quite fun lar.. =T but mood very hard to get high if it's kinda low. still ok thou. almost 7 liddat, we went to the temp. cat high pri to visit the carnival and stuff.. not bad lar.. Ms Tan gave us tickets to get free food/drink. anws.. fast forward to the band performance.. really not bad lo.. cat high pri play not bad liaoz.. cat high (sec) also quite strong for a half band (a lot of pple not present). tpters all very good.. and pri sch use cornets.. so cute!! haha.. oh yar.. the kids all also vvvvv cute.. so short short, small small.. and no, i'm not a paedophile. haha.. conclusion: cat high pri is ok..

the whole thing ended arnd 8+.. kinda dark liaoz.. then we went to AMK Mos to eat.. or rather sit arnd for a while.. was damn tired by then.. =/ hanged arnd for some time.. blah.. then hui2 jia1 le..

wish the bus ride would nvr end, wish the path i walked down to Regentville would continue forever.. one whole stretch of pavement and i was the only one walking on it. so slowly also.. haiz. thot abt a lot of things.. but mainly it was the mood thing lar.. =/ it became some horizonal str line. haha.. but it was nice lar.. owned the path.

yeah that's all for today.. came home at 10pm liddat.. from 745am (left early to go sch study a bit). haiz. wanna go sleep..

2004-08-27T22:35:00.000+08:00

u suck. seriously.

god.. feel so so fricked up.. friday again.. =/ the day overall was ok.. i guess.. damn tired thou.. PE.. line dance.. whatever lar.. *sigH* the rest just passed and stuff.. got back chem.. 22.5/40. but the 3 of us in the group got picked on.. then i was called xiao zhu tou in the second period.. =/ nvm..

band. sectionals. not bad lar.. managed to do the stuff we supposed to do. then yuan bing came, we did Abba gold. a lot of mistakes corrected. the main part was the duet.. that one after sectionals then he listened to me and ZL. GOD. i dont know.. =/ see how lar.. =/ went home with jessie in 72.. talked abt some stuff as usual.. then we went to hougang point tgt.. she buy dinner for her mom and herself, then i got a curry puff for my dinner..

went home.. very sianz. someone stole my headset. good right. couldnt listen to the radio. nvm. go online. at first okok.. then i tired.. go nap FOR LESS THAN 10 MINS. within that time, the music i was playing went dead, comp turned off. WOW I CAN SAY I WAS SO HAPPY. kena scolding for blasting the music after i switched on the comp again. also faced with threats like 'next time u separate ur clothes from the rest.' yeah right.

frick lar. it happens the day before some test and i end up screwing the test up so badly cos 1) i didnt study properly 2) too pissed off. nvm. if phys does badly, i'll have a huge problem deciding which sub to drop.. econs is curerntly at the top of the list thanks to my lousy results. FAILED. =/ haha okok.. i better not say anymore le.. later keni say i keep on announcing that i failed econs.. hahaha.. =P

ok.. gtg study le.. sianz.. =/

2004-08-26T22:24:00.000+08:00

haiz.. it's been a long long time.. the week gonna end le. =/ so, so tired..

last week sucked. this week sucked more. *sigh* so many things to do.. also derno y.. i more tired. SLEEP SO MUCH STILL SO TIRED. god. =/

still rmb.. wed.. derno y my mood not that good.. band pract then wanna vent anger.. haiz.. ok, yar so my section sometimes rush. maybe quite a lot of times. but we're not the only ones.. so y say us all the time? cos tpts supposed to be loud? the main pple?? huh?? god. sometimes i just wanna play at my own tempo like them. pls. i'm already trying to slow down and stuff. but it's so fricking irritating. just wanna do whatever, however. but cannot. =/ haiz.. felt so fricked up, so supressed. derno lar. *censored due to CV*

but anws later i went out with liru and sarah after band pract.. at first held up by some video thing.. Ms Tan wanted us to watch.. blah.. still got the duet.. damn worrying.. nvm.. tmr got sectionals..

yeah.. the 3 of us went to AMK LJS to eat.. haha.. had a great time.. felt more relaxed and stuff.. =) thanks guys!! talked lotsa stuff.. blah.. then going home that time, they HAD to wait for my bus to come.. -_____-'' haha.. nvm lar.. very nice of u guys!! =) oh yar.. mon also spent lunch with the 19 bunch and after sch time with liru, before i hadta go for something.. haha.. so nice.. wish things were back to the way they were.. nvm..

then today.. for phys lect, me, lynn and joanna didnt know where it was gonna be. so we walked past LT1. not it.. then thot it was LT4.. so we went inside. stood and stared at the unfamiliar faces for like 5 seconds before we realised that we went into the wrong LT!! =X the lecturer started saying 'this is a J2 lecture' and the J2s were murmuring/giggling. so paisehz! we exited the place laughing and laughing. later go LT3 (the actual venue), we were still laughing abt it.. god.. cant imagine it lo.. so many pple inside.. hahaha.. then lynn laugh until like mad liddat.. laugh so long. haha..

besides that, the day was pretty much.. dry.. =/ was feeling damn tired, thot abt all the stuff i needed to do.. a lot a lot.. no time to condition the tpts.. got econs rem, double gp (write essay). haiz..

All the things she said, all the things she said
Running thru my head, running thru my head

then yar.. stayed in sch to do a bit of phys.. =/ sometimes i wonder, do pple only see one side of me? the side that has all the laughter, all the smiles and whatever? argh whatever. i'll start crapping again.

It doesnt matter anws

tmr.. sianz.. see how. blardy phys test.. haiz.. and so much to do.. prob be on the GP spec prog again cos i nvr do reading file.. =(

2004-08-22T15:10:00.000+08:00

after abt 12 hours of sleep i guess i pretty much recharged myself.. =/ past week has been kinda tiring.. haiz.. derno what happed.. dont care..

ytd.. sat.. 2 tests sia.. crap. didnt memo formula for maths (gone case) and cant rmb much for chem, like the born-haber cycle (another gone case). plus almost all of the mcq for chem was tikamed. =/ anws.. i was damn suay lar..

after that was better.. band.. =) sectionals first.. this time it was ok.. we played Abba Gold.. then quite shuang. just anyhow play, but it was ok. then we go NYP eat.. come back.. got warm ups.. played a bit of Abba also.. then Miss Tan came. she did Festive Overture, Jericho and Pustza. Festive is CMI lar.. at least for us.. front part ok, then later lost.. outta timing.. blah. Jericho is not bad lar.. we got try a bit.. quite nice song.. yar.. lost also somehow managed to find out way back. Pustza. was ok lar.. haiz.. now like cannot hide.. Ms Tan wants us to play.. then.. argh. think at least we got improve overall lar.. then FINALLY played that solo part properly for once. last time just lost then skipped it. =( no jessie.. sianz.

played Abba Gold again after Ms Tan left.. this time we did the duet for Fernando. =/ jessie played with me.. =) hmm.. i'd rather play Heal The World.. nice lo.. Abba not bad, but it's nothing much lar.. =/ haha.. derno lar. so long as it's not Hawaii. that one super AA for tpts.

after band, went to town with keni, and han ming. first went to heeren to shop.. not bad.. there got quite a lot of stuff.. haha.. =) then walk arnd for some time.. then lixin came and joined us.. shop some more.. haha.. all the stuff.. one day if i have money i'll go buy. haha.. then we all hungry and tired le. but that han ming wanna go cartel to eat. so we walked a long long way there. haha.. ok lar.. wasnt too bad.. ate at the food court, then went to PS to walked arnd. didnt know spotlight got so much stuff.. hmm.. haha.. after walking arnd, we went to take neoprints.. then go home le.

by then i was kinda tired, slept on the train home (was the only one taking NEL). haiz.. reached home then derno what, kept on drinking orange juice. bad. fell asleep at 11pm. so shagged..

today woke up at 6+ then go back to sleep until 11am liddat. =/ haiz sianz.. so much to do but i dont wanna do anything.. haiz..

2004-08-17T23:35:00.000+08:00

havent been blogging since.. sat liddat.. busy lar.. *excusesexcuses* =/

sun.. got pw.. i woke up kinda early to prepare and stuff.. but later realised i was abt 1 hour early.. so i napped.. until past the time.. =S aiyo.. then nvm.. walk to the bus stop.. supposed to take bus down.. suddenly saw Chun Wei and Jun Ming walking/running to the bus stop.. dotz.. they actually saw me walking to the bus stop, then see the bus pass by, walked back, realised i wasnt on the bus, went to the bus stop. haha.. paiseh.. didnt know CW's house so near mine..

so we got there.. finally got down to work.. did some parts and stuff.. then in the middle of it all, JM switched some switch off.. comp screen black out.. i thot we'd lose all the stuff.. kaoz.. good thing not.. the comp auto saved.. then ok.. near the end we also went down to buy snacks.. then ate the mifen CW's mom cooked for us.. =) her mom also bought soon kueh.. haha.. so nice.. =)

managed to do abt 1100 words during that time.. the rest send to Yek Wai to do.. lol.. anws.. by the time we finished it was kinda late.. raining etc.. went home.. buy slippers.. slept.. haiz.. nvr go watch fireworks.. =( slacked Sun away.. oh yar.. also stayed up kinda late derno for what..

Mon.. hmm.. cant rmb much.. after sch.. got house meeting.. new exco pple and stuff.. after that go band room slack.. eat at NYP.. then go home. stayed up kinda late also.. doing phys set qn and the pw interview letter.. damn tired then go sleep..

woke up kinda early today.. hadta do so many things (including getting a written letter done). missed the early bus.. (after the early bus is the late bus) hadta run to sch if not will be late.. so yar.. =/ sianz lar.. besides that.. unusually sianz day.. first period: maths lect.. think after a while my head was on the table le.. econs and chem also was feeling kinda sleepy. =/ haiz.. screwed up phys spa also.. nvm.. best was pe.. just listened to the talk.. then dismissed le. =)

band room again.. finally got to play Mulan.. but it's nicer with the whole band lar.. =) haiz.. then stayed back in sch to do econs news article (if not tmr hafta do 2). going home.. had a long long talk with frankie.. haiz.. i also know.. paiseh.. i only saw the msg at 11++pm.. haiz.. well.. what u said DID have some impact on me.. trying to be guai1-er.. =/ thou it's a lot more difficult to change then u think.. haiz.. and it's a lot more difficult to do what i have not been doing.. *sigh* sorry to piss u off.. =(

haiz.. so, so tired.. =/ wanna go nap..

2004-08-14T21:51:00.000+08:00

hmm.. got econs and gp test.. highly sianz.. haiz. nvm.

after that got band.. they set up the tv in front of the band room, then let us watch Mulan!! woah.. damn cool.. but we could only watch the parts which had the songs.. yup.. damn nice show.. haha.. if poss i wanna watch the whole thing.. the story so nice..

then lunch le.. went to nyp as usual.. and met up with Joyce there! =) hahaha.. always nice to see a fren u havent seen for some time.. so yar.. talked for a while abt a lot of stuff.. then saw Jin Yue at the nyp food court also.. she asked me to go buy drink for her.. hahaha.. ok lar.. then cont eating lunch.. talking etc.. later also walked back to AJ with Joycee.. cos later she's meeting eli.. =) haha.. then had to rush back for band..

dotz.. warms ups were really long.. from abt 1-3.. miss tan came today.. then pract Puszta from 3-4 liddat.. ok half the time me and jessie were just erm.. trying to play. lol.. cos we still havent got the rhythm right. =/ some parts ok lar.. but some others.. once we just just blowing notes.. like u see what note then blow what.. and we played the low B tgt.. then derno y so funny also.. we broke out in laughter.. wahaha.. also laughed a lot at other times when we just luan luan play then still ok.. but of cos most of the time, when we come in, the music.. destroyed lar. =/ seriously, as Yuan Bing would say, the standard not there.. =/ *sigh* and i havent heard ZL playing yet.. (yeah even know i sit a seat a away, i cant really hear his sound specifically. =/ how.. and sectionals i think have to change day.. also derno what day to put it on.. band officially ended at arnd 4..

after that me, jessie (da jie) and nortilla (xiao mei) sat outside the band room and talked abt stuff.. lol.. then went inside to play Mulan for a while.. hahaha.. *obsessed* play until 5 then go home.. damn tired so i slept until 9 liddat..

sianz now. =/

2004-08-13T23:03:00.000+08:00

damn pissed off. argh. today sucks lar. i dont know.. really wanna kill someone. argh. ok wait.. i'll talk abt happier stuff. like ytd.

thurs supposed to be long and boring and stuff.. but it wasnt. it was damn fun.. cant rmb most of what happed, but chi lesson was great.. haha.. she's not angry le.. so lessons as pernormal. and when she's happy, everyone's happy. told us lotsa stories and stuff as usual. highly inspirational. =) she overshot her lesson time by abt 30 mins thou. nvm.. =)

the later part was super fun.. hahaha.. Andy's bdae, so got cake and all that. stood arnd for a while.. got Keni, Lixin, Siew May, Duan Jie, Ben Tan, Frankie, Joel, Shaun, Han Ming, Andy, and Wey Man was there for a while. then they started smashing cake arnd.. good thing only kena a bit of cake. then run and run away from frankie, but always go toilet and wash up a bit. that part was ok.. hahaha.. then derno when they started playing with water.. everyone took out their water bottles and filled it up with water to squirt/pour on people. also kena-ed a bit at first. and derno y i was dry kinda fast.. run arnd.. make pple wet and stuff.. lol.. the most fun part was them pretending to chase someone, but actually they were going for someone else.. wahhaha.. victims: Andy and William (was playing soccer nearby). so cute lor!!! in the end everyone was really really wet. eewww.. kinda er xin lar.. but it was so fun.. like we were kids liddat. play with water and laughed.. run arnd.. =D good break from sch. whew. =) thoroughly enjoyed myself.. hahaha.. after that go home le.. then some of my papers become kiam cai cos i leaned my file on my wet shirt. =X heck lar. hahahhahaha..

so much for the fun. went home. some idiot bought some blardy ugly pink shoes for me. just cos they were on sale. WOW. EVEN RANDY KNOWS THAT I HATE PINK. like why the f cant u listen to ANYTHING we say? one ~~blardy idiot~~ fricking jerk. whatever. so what if i ren xing. u're worse. MUCH WORSE. u SUCK.

the next day. woke up at 740. argh. not very happy abt that.. =( to make matters worse, the min. u see me, u start ur long stupid talk. LOOK. NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO YOU. YOU DONT DESERVE MY RESPECT. respect is mutual. in order to gain respect, u have to earn it, by respecting others first. GOD. simple dao li. stuff u said.. "dont always give excuses. u are to blame blah blah crap. who tell u sleep so late. chatting all the time. i'll try to find a way to make sure that all the comp switch off auto at 11pm." pls. it's none of ur business, seriously. SINCE WHEN DID U BOTHER? i dont EVEN get money from u. some pple say that since parents are so busy nowadays, they just give their children money so that the kids are happy. in actual fact, it's not really showing care and concern and stuff liddat. cos u have to spend time with them. SIMPLE PARENTING SKILLS. i forgive the fact that all u pple are busy with ur work and own lives to bother spending time with us (the kids). and right now if u try to spend time with us, i dont think we'll like it either. the thing is, U DONT BOTHER GIVING US MONEY. like how much do i get per month?? and i have to settle so much stuff. u dont give a damn abt us anws.

i rmb one day i asked u to bring me to sch cos i was gonna be late for band. "the bus only takes 10 mins." YEAH RIGHT. that's excluding waiting time, walking in to the sch, and when the bus is so damn empty. including those, it'll take 25 mins. BUT ANWS I WENT TO SCH. ALMOST LATE AS USUAL. like u care. another day i asked u to fetch me to sch. think it was fri. national day celebrations. Randy was also gonna be fetched to sch at the same time. we left kinda early. but there was a serious traffic jam. i said i was gonna be late. WHO STARTED SHOUTING FIRST THAT I WAS TO BE BLAMED FOR MY OWN LATECOMING? in the first place, i wasnt blaming u. and GOD. I'M DAMN SORRY FOR CHOOSING TO GO TO SCH BY CAR AND HAVING TO SIT THRU UR WHOLE FKING SPEECH.

stop using the comp to threaten me. u know what? it's the ONLY thing i go home for. and my bed of cos. NOTHING ELSE MATTERS HERE. the comp is like my life or something. i think i'll die without it. U KNOW DONT U?? THAT ONCE U SAY ANYTHING ABT THE COMP, I GIVE IN. honestly. what kind of parents use such threats on ur child.

after that i just ignored u. EVERYTHING U SAID. i cant be bothered anymore. and i've got better things to do. now i know why abt.. 99% of the time i pretend to be deaf when u're talking. i dont see myself apologising abt that. the clao teacher said that 17 year olds can be hen3. like they shout at their parents even thou they know it'll hurt them. i totally agree. but anws sometimes it's the parents' fault. u pple really dont understand. and u go "i really dont understand you know. why blah blah crap." yeah whatever. in the first place u dont TRY TO. and u dont bother LISTENING.

ok.. so i went to sch late. very late.. break.. lects.. lessons.. CV.. oh yar.. Seng Gim got his hair gelled/waxed by his good friends. nice lo!! no kidding.. but at the same time kinda wow. lol.. y go make down before chem tut.. haiz.. wasted sia.. shld do again some day. lunch.. played LF!! hahaha.. then maths.. clao (also very nice.. filled with stories.. thou exceeded time also.) after that i roamed arnd for a while.. by 445.. sectionals supposed to start by got no one there. all have some excuse to come later or not go. so ok.. sat outside the bench and talked with kailing until 540 liddat. then i decided to go to the office and get my EZlink back from that guy. by the time i came back, all the pple who shld have come came. sectionals started.. breathing exercises plus long notes. =/ ended.. then slacked in band room a while before going to the LT benches to study. then halfway we ordered pizza and ate there.. so fun.. wahahaha.. then cont studying..

going home.. abt 9+ liddat.. then so suay, take 76 instead of 72.. somemore got 3 of us.. all nvr see the bus no. hahaha.. so take to AMK MRT then change bus.. got home abt 10. since then i havent touched any work. now it's 1205. too pissed lar.

when i got home, overall mood was ok. then u HAD to piss me off by stacking 3 boxes of shoes in front of me. how many times have we told u? how many times do we have to repeat ourselves?? SINCE LAST YEAR OR MORE. even mommy has more sense to tell u to just give us the money to buy. or bring us out to choose. AT LEAST SHE LEARNT HER LESSON. and when did she remind u to just let us choose? when u came back with the ugly pink ones. DID U LISTEN? no. i think u're like half deaf or something. that's y sometimes i have to shout see? COS NOTHING GETS INTO UR THICK HEAD. but i didnt today. i wanna give up. just took the boxes and placed them somewhere outta my sight. be thankful that i didnt throw them down or something. OH AND GUESS WHAT. the best comp cant be turned on. i dont wanna talk anymore. i'm wasting my own blardy time. nothing that i say matters anws. and u say "all u talk abt is money." IT'S A BASIC NECCESSITY for god's sake. GOD.

ok. now that it's here i dont wanna care abt it liaoz.. got econs and gp test tmr. or today.. =/

2004-08-11T22:47:00.000+08:00

happy day..

hahaha.. derno y today i kinda hyper after sch ended.. sch was normal and stuff.. hmm yar.. had this econs test which i didnt know abt.. but nvm lar. argh. behind on a lot of tutorials. so much to do.. and i'm such a big slacker. =/ whatever.. i havent set my priorities right.. =/

anws.. after sch.. went to eat and stuff as usual.. listened to all the crappings and stuff.. considered going fagging but decided to go band room instead.. slacked there.. also quite fun lar. derno what i was doing there also. but mood overall quite high. that's all i can rmb.. =) haha.. must have been mentally unsound then. then warm ups started and stuff.. argh.. long long warm ups without jessie. =/ but nvm lar.. the later part was nicer..

played Mulan again!! yay!! love the song to bits.. and Reflection is so touching.. flute solo damn nice.. lol.. there's Honour to us all, I'll make a man out of you, A girl worth fighting for and Reflection.. haha.. sorta managed to finish it this time but we didnt get to run thru it due to time limitations.. hadta do Puszta (sorry for the bad spelling) which we need to improve on. actually Mulan also.. some parts got rhythm stuff need to work one. =/ but it's overall damn damn nice.. *sigh* beyond words. then after band i hadta pack some stuff.. also played Mulan a while more while wey man tried to teach some rhythm and reminded me that we hadta do sectionals on it. =/ then rush rush..

got outta the band room and went to LT benches.. met Liru and Sarah there.. then sit and do some work and talk etc.. lol.. crapping session plus jokes and laughter.. =) then sit there until we didnt wanna do more work.. haha.. we just started packing and stuff.. so yeah.. then zhao from sch.. me and liru went to J8 to eat while Sarah went home..

when we first went to J8, we went to see the new section again.. wahahaha.. now not so white.. but J8 has really become bigger.. =) got new shops and stuff.. and my sense of direction ar.. cannot bring pple to places one.. =S but we soon found it and walked arnd a bit.. then there was this poster advertising Pastamania. we were like.. Pastamania in J8?? the poster had a number.. #01-37 if i'm not wrong.. haha.. so we went searching for the shop.. could only see Swensons and some other food shop. =/ then nvm.. just went to eat.. at Mos.. liru.. next time u choose the place lor.. hahaha.. then yar.. sat there and talked.. eat.. laughed and stuff.. lol.. and there was this song playing on the.. speaker or something.. I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You. wahhaha.. still got some others.. so just sat there and listened lor.. =) nice songs.. thou kinda soft.. arnd 9 liddat then we left the place..

haha.. fun day overall, if u exclude the sch part.. =) yup.. *thinking abt sch tmr* haiz.. oh well.. so many tutorials.. =/ all not done.. sianz..

2004-08-10T00:28:00.000+08:00

today (meaning ytd..) woke up at arnd 10am.. then onlne until 250 liddat.. at 215 da yi called from the old hse.. said that mommy wanted to meet me at amk bus int by 345.. and she asked me to go offline at 230. but i tuo1 and tuo1. =/ so.. by the tme i got ready and left the hse, it was 350 liddat.. meet mommy going back to the hse. so we went back and ate some stuff. i went onlne for like.. 3 mins before mommy said we hadta leave NOW or dont go buy new track shoes. then ok lo.. go to turf city..

there.. got nothing much.. =/ saw these berms.. but the size kinda big.. so.. =/ but nvm.. the shoes there were.. i derno.. i didnt even have the mood to go out.. and mommy got on my nerves a bit lar.. so in the end we just left the place.. mission failed. and it's been.. since june hols or something. =/ but soon lar.. will get it soon..

i realise that i've been spending a lot of money recently.. 50 bucks suddenly gone.. =( and Sept is coming.. have to save sia.. no eating more rubbish. another thing.. the sportslink there had these plastic panels.. so u can see what's on the other side.. but have to walk from somewhere else to get there. was walking towards one of the panels.. until i realised that i couldnt just get there by walking str. (how dumb can i get? sorry for my stupidity.) and it feels like that.. plastic panels.. i can see the rest of the world and they can see me.. but i cant get out from there.. cant smash the panels (not glass sia).. trapped.. sianz.. and when u feel trapped.. no way out.. banging the panels aint gonna help. i derno lar.. dont really need pple telling me that i lead a sheltered life, derno anything abt the world.. i know that fact liaoz.. haiz.. the world will forever be complicated..

by the tme we got hme the ndp show already started.. watched a bit.. and singapore idol.. then onlne till now.. =/ yar.. tmr.. the last day of the long weekend.. *sigh* cant wait for the next weekend.. =/

2004-08-09T22:35:00.000+08:00

haiz.. ok.. for ytd.. had pw in the morn.. went quite ok.. did the evaluation on reliability for quite a few articles.. then go hougang point Mac to write the letter and stuff.. shit.. which means i gotta type it out soon.. =/

pw ended ok early.. haha.. so i slacked at home a while before preparing to go out.. meet lixin, hweiyun, alan, han ming and zhong long to play pool. (i derno zl was going until in the mrt there). marina bay mrt.. then took bus to the pool place.. haha.. nice lar.. so big somemore.. then played pool lor.. wahahaha.. i really suck at pool man.. haiyo.. also played 1 on 1 for the first time.. if i shot in anything it was almost purely tyco. hahaha.. but it was ok fun lar.. play pool then talk talk.. haha.. saw Alvin and Justin there too. and PAE 2304 pple also went to marina bay to fly kite i think.. haha.. too bad didnt see them..

yup.. played for quite long.. then quite ex also.. but nvm.. haha.. took bus back.. then mrt to raffles place or something.. the rest was a blur.. cos i derno where we were.. haha.. i know we met Yong Cheun at some mrt.. then cont walking and walking and walking.. long way sia.. reached this river thing.. near fullerton hotel.. (ok my sense of direction is really bad. i dont even know places along the bus route i take everyday.) then since the view there not so good, we cont walking down some path.. until we reached some road junction.. on the pavement.. pple were pointing at the sky, saying that it's gonna start..

830. just nice.. we were where we sorta decided to be.. then it started.. lights from afar.. there were so many colours.. so many patterns.. it's like the first time i saw fireworks or something.. well.. it IS the first time seeing them so close up.. anws it was just really really cool lar.. =) and thou it was loud, it was still.. wonderful.. lol.. took some pics with my phone.. but all not that clear and.. my timing sucks yar? lol.. good thing i still have ONE pic on my comp.. cos alan brought digicam.. damn good quality somemore. and so it ended.. =) very 'wow'.. damn worth it to see fireworks in real.. not from tv or from ur window or something.. =) haha.. somemore now with all the Towers, it's impossible to see anything.

wanted to go to raffles place to eat but it was so crowded.. so took train to dhoby.. go ps eat at kfc.. haha.. then we just sat there and talked and laughed.. haha.. until 1130pm.. they closing le.. so bo bian.. we go mrt there.. then like still early.. not last train.. so just sat on the floor and talk.. take pics etc.. until last train for NEL (i think) then we zhao.. only me and hweiyun taking NEL.. she stopped at Serangoon, me at hougang.. talked abt stuff lar. =/

argh. reached hougang bus int.. saw 72 leave.. then i was like.. wth.. sure got another bus.. sat and listened to the radio.. for like 30 mins or something.. until 1245. (wait so long partly cos the songs were nice and i just felt like sitting/standing there) finally decided to call daddy to pick me up. 'I've got work tmr. take taxi.' =/ then called a friend.. also say take taxi. =/ then ok lor.. (i considered walking home) waited for a cab.. haiz.. hougang got so many places.. say hougang point can go near hougang mall there.. i also derno how to say where i live.. *sigh* sucks lar. regentville, rosyth, hougang point, bowen. all.. not very well known to some pple. =/ so it went on a while.. i blur blur.. cant even see the blocks arnd (not like it helps anws. i cant recognise anything in the area except for the 4 more distinct buildings mentioned above.) then got an sms from daddy saying to tell the driver to go to hougang ave 9. then derno y we there liaoz.. suddenly saw regentville and others. then ok lor.. got off.. fare: $6.50. so ex.. haiz..

went home.. and slept almost immediately.. haha.. hmm.. quite good that my batt lasted the whole day.. wasnt even full at the start.. and with the photo taking, radio, smsing etc etc.. still didnt die on me.. thank God.. cos it was the one thing that kept me in contact with pple esp midnite onwards.. yup.. =)

overall a very very fun day.. haha.. =) came home only at 110 liddat.. but nvm.. =) next entry abt how today went..

2004-08-09T14:47:00.000+08:00

ok... this is gonna be really short.. i've passed my time limit. supposed to prepare to go to out with mommy. and she wants it to be soon, not 5. supposed to be offline by 230. but wth.. the thing abt ytd will be posted tonight i think.. *sigh* so much hw to do somemore...

you shi, you xie dong xi wo men bu ke yi kong zhi de..

sometimes one wonders y life is.. so.. shitty. i know life is usually what we make of it.. our choices and stuff.. but some things are beyond our control.. way way beyond.. even to the point that we're helpless against whatever and stuff.. hate the feeling.. y do some things have to be liddat..

*sigh* so many things going on.. and it sucks when u cant do much abt it.. wth.. i think i'm crapping.. *sigh*

I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears

2004-08-07T23:59:00.000+08:00

kaoz. 2nd time i lost the entry i was typing. if it happens again i'm gonna murder someone. so buay tahan. and i COPIED it liaoz lor. just that derno y after that cannot PASTE. what's it's problem. nvm. everything will be shortened.

almost late for band. so sianz being almost late all the time. rush and rush. cant help it.. =(

band.. warm ups were kinda long.. not really in the mood to play also. but the songs were better.. played Beauty and the Beast and Mulan. love fun songs.. Beauty was quite nice.. but we nvr play properly.. then a bit screwed up.. didnt even finish the song cos not nice le.. but Mulan was great.. haha.. love that song.. =) tpt parts were mostly medoly.. and got one part vvv cute.. Mulan songs just rock lar. but i think we nvr play loud enough.. need more tpters lar.. wanna play Mulan again someday.. nice piece..

today not really in the mood to play cos i couldnt even breathe properly. and air counts a lot. and sometimes it hurts to play. throat needs more water. if i still have flu symptomes on wed i'll murder myself. cant be sick for band.

anws.. band ended early today.. 1pm.. so after that me, nortilla, kailing, ben tan, jeremy wong and jeremy lo went to J8 to eat.. foodcourt.. haha.. before that also went to look at the shops and stuff.. got one whole new section in J8.. haha.. think it was opened vvv recently.. the whole part looks so much brighter and whiter than the rest. =) haha.. after eating we took neoprints.. haha.. derno spend how much on neoprints le.. but nvm.. got money now..

tried to find a place to sit and cut the pics and slack but like dont have.. so we just went to the cinema there.. sit along the aside and later near the entrance.. haha.. they renovated the cinema also.. now look very posh (i derno if that's the correct word to use). haha.. sat there and took some pics with my phone until they gan3 us zhou3. so we just went to the foodcourt again.. bought some drinks and slacked some more. then jeremy had to go so we all left tgt.. (before that kailing and j lo had to go somewhere after the neoprint taking). haha.. then in the bus also felt damn tired..

went home and immediately slept. at that time it was only 3++pm lor. really felt drained.. good thing i didnt have to make sure that i was still breathing when trying to sleep. woke up only at 8++.. ate, online, LF, online.. and i've been like that since then. the comp sucks. the one i was using before too.. black out after a while. *sigh*

tmr got pw.. then after that going with some band members and friends to play pool.. then watch fireworks.. haha.. packed day.. hopefully will still have energy and stuff.. =/

2004-08-06T22:56:00.000+08:00

national day celebrations. late for sch. didnt see the parade and blah blah.. haiz. but good thing they nvr book latecoming today.. so ok lar.. AJ race started.. walked to AMK bus int then take 138 to STU.. still have to walk in.. sometimes hadta run and stuff. we answered some qns.. got 85/100 ok.. haha.. went back to AJ and did the sch song and ans some more qns.. do crossword puzzle.. total score was arnd 96. not too bad lar. =) we went to canteen.. Ms Tan gave us icecream and the bubble thing. haha.. icecream damn nice. then took lotsa photos and stuff.. =) not bad.. until LKW and Ms Tan debriefed us.. then the mood not so good lar.. =/ *sigh* after that there was prize giving..

once we were dismissed we discussed what to do for class outing.. also had to wait for Shi Qi to finish her cham make up pract. the girls went to change and stuff.. blahzz.. then i went fagging.. LF2.. lol.. after a while Shi Qi finished le.. so we went to Orchard, Scotts food court to eat. that place quite good lar. Ms Tan joined us.. after that go far east to shop and take neoprints.. haiz.. stuff. hadta wait kinda long for the machines.. but nvm..

from there, the guys and girls split.. guys to cuppage for pool and girls to shop. haha.. walked a lot here and there.. take neoprints (which were nice), see stuff.. haha.. go heeren look at stuff, then walk to centrepoint then back to heeren to make necklace.. kinda cool.. =) all same.. lol.. after that go meet the guys playing pool. just sat there and watch.. =/ think they played for more than 3 hours.. after that we collected our stuff from heeren.. not bad lo! haha.. then go macs to eat.. didnt eat cos my money is already -$15 liddat. wah laoz.. hadta borrow so much.. sianz.. have to buy stuff from Hougang Point tmr morn to break some note. =/

yup.. then went home with Joanna cos only 2 of us taking NEL.. yup.. took quite long to get home.. but nvm.. go home online the whole time. no diff. but today was damn tiring.. from the start of the class outing i already felt tired. sigh.. such is life. it's just so tiring. =/ bo bian. haiz.. sianz..

2004-08-04T21:34:00.000+08:00

haiz.. so long nvr blog le thou i'm online everyday.. nothing much lar.. mon and tues.. everyday after sch go band room slack.. it's like nexus or something.. wahaha.. quite fun lar.. then going home that time i'd go to hougang point to hang arnd before reaching home kinda late. =/ so sianz.

caught up on some work but still have a lot to do.. *sigh* but nvm lar.. then today.. lessons as usual.. and i went to play Little Fighter 2 during break.. for less than 5 mins or something. hahaha.. gonna download the game if can lar.. then blah blah lessons.. after sch got band.. still derno what to do for sectionals and stuff, thou after talking with liru i have a better idea of what to do.. *sigh* sometimes things are just harder than they seem. and wey man said that the music comm has to come up with the proposal for the cat high exchange thing. =/ got a new song.. soso lar.. and miss tan now working a lot on basics. havent played for 1 week and my sound sucks. =(

nvm.. after band, went to meet liru outside LTs.. then sit and talk and do hw.. haha.. mei qing from her class was also there.. then do until abt 745.. go AMK KFC to eat.. haha.. paiseh cannot finish my food.. lol.. but fun lar.. everytime when she's arnd there'll be laughter.. =) lol! yup..

tmr's the last day of sch for the week!! haha.. cant believe i was ThAt slow when liru told me. think i realised it abt an hour ++ later. haha.. cant wait for fri.. =) k.. gonna download LF2!!

2004-07-31T21:24:00.000+08:00

haha.. supposed to be thurs and fri, not wed and thurs for the prev post.. thanks ben.. haiz. think my brain wasnt really working. nvm.

chi compo test.. hope i write not outta point. then the ne quiz thing i just anyhow do.. dont really understand some qns.. that's how bad my chi is. the last 20 qns really just luna luan lai.. nvr even bothered reading the qns. after that hadta sit thru the finals in the quiz or something. just liddat liddat. rjc won. =/

met lixin, seek fong, ben, frankie and han ming in sch to go for lunch. went to causeway point.. the next place if not hougang then frankie bu shuang. hahaha. reached there and took 1 hr plus to decide where to eat.. haha.. got so many choices lor.. pizza hut, BK, KFC, mac, yoshi, LJ, food court, pastamaina, and derno what else. persoanlly wanted pizza hut lor.. somemore got 25% off.. but.. haiz. yong cheun and shallin came at different times to meet us.. in the end ate at food court. didnt feel wonderful.. since morn liddat.. think it's cosa the pink cake and mineral water i took earlier.. =/ whatever lar.. later still go pai1 neoprints.. haha.. not a very neoprint person.. so i derno lar.. then walk arnd see stuff.. reached home at 5pm.. slept until 9pm.. tired.. everyone also so tired.. haiz. sch's so WhaT.

nvm. overall okok.. haiz. so much hw to do.. =/ if can today must do some.. haiz. life sux.

2004-07-31T00:07:00.000+08:00

damn damn tired. and my eyes hurt.. so dry.. staring at the comp screen doesnt help. 2 comps badly affected by virus, thanks to what Dork installed. and mabel keeps using the good one. =( kaoz.

wed.. lessons as usual. last 2 periods was clao.. she said something abt ze ren (responsibility) and fen shen (role) and stuff. made a lot of sense.. if a person doesnt fulfil his role, then other pple wont respect him. thot abt stuff that applied. no wonder. =/ after that, went band room to slack.. Joel's bdae. then me, keni and eupho section went to the field beside block 11 to play soccer with the small bball. haha.. quite fun.. run here run there. and it's damn reckless. wahaha. sui bian lar. after that damn tired.. then go home with nortilla.

but i didnt go home.. was kinda early.. somemore had to buy pres. haha.. went to hougang point to slack.. bought food.. then decided on what to buy with keni and JW. finally chose to buy a small soccer ball and a cap for jia he. haha.. quite cool lar. thanks to JW's recommendation. by then i spent a lot of money le.. bought socks and food for myself.. so not enough money.. haiz. hadta go home to get more from mommy.. then back there to buy.. but it's worth it. =)

supposed to do gp hw but i fell asleep. gonna be in the gp spec prog for one more week. =(

thurs.. blah blah. sianz. gave jia he pres.. haha.. derno what he thinks lar.. but to me it's quite cool. =) after sch.. was doing gp hw.. but confirm cannot pass up by today le.. so nvm.. went band room slack. after that go watch guitar and harmo concert. haha.. not bad.. =) also shouted for a lot of pple. LOL.. the best one was abt kai lun and hua zai. hahah.. quite ok lar.. went with the band.. so quite fun..

after concert, stayed there for some time before going to AMK to eat.. some went to S11, some, to mos. mos seriously cheated my money. the strawberry thing, make me pay 1.50. KB. but nvm lar.. haiz. hadta buy something home for mabel.. got her a dumpling. then went home on 159.. finally i know where to take the bus le.. haha.. talked to eric abt the 4/3 sub thing.. derno yet.. haiz. to drop or not to drop..

k lar. late le. and tmr got chi compo test. =( gonna sleep. nitezz..

2004-07-28T23:34:00.000+08:00

ok.. been really busy these days.. haiz.. go out ok much lar.. behind in hw as always. casey told me that i'm SLOW today. haiz.

mon.. half day.. went to eat lunch with Liru at J8 LJS.. sat there and crapped until 3++pm.. =) then went to watch movie with eli and zh.. *bright* Brotherhood.. not bad lar.. damn touching.. cried a bit lar.. nice show. first N16 movie i watched. and yeah.. A LOT of violence and gory scenes. nvm. nice lar.. haha.. enjoyed the day a lot.. haha.. thanks.. if not for u guys i'd be sleeping at home.. haha.. =) went home and slept str away.. didnt wake up to go online.. to liru and ben tan, really sorry i couldnt make it online..

tues.. blardy hell. long day.. then PE was so whAt.. expect us to RUN 6 rounds arnd the track.. erm.. did like 5 liddat.. no stamina.. buay tahan lar. after that went home and derno do what lar. damn tired.

wed.. usual stuff.. was deciding whether or not i shld go for band cos i had a letter excusing me from today's band pract. but chose to go lar.. just left earlier.. arnd 355 liddat.. meet sarah and sally to go to national stadium. reached there abt 5 liddat.. then cheered like crazy.. miss the cedar spirit and stuff. haha.. -Once a Cedarian, ALwaYs a Cedarian- same for being a tpter. once a tpter, always a tpter. saw lotsa pple.. including the J2 ex-cedarians.. haha.. Siti and Hui Shan.. at first i only saw Siti cos she shouted my name.. wave like mad then lag a long long time then realised HS was there too.. still as chio as ever. *sigh* haha.. saw Germaine too.. also damn chio.. LOL.. a lot a lot of pple lar.. even went to see the sec 4 juniors.. haha.. had fun lar.. cedar got 2nd and 3rd for the diff divs.. haha.. quite happy.. the 2nd one we beat the sports sch.. =)

after the whole thing, me, sarah, jasmine, sally and nurul went to PS LJS to eat.. a bit sian of it liaoz. but nvm.. haha.. liru.. i can cut the chicken nicely le.. wahaha.. then sit and talked abt stuff lar.. btw it was raining in the aft so we all kena drenched during the meet. bag and papers all wet liaoz.. so sad.. at LJS still cold.. brrr.. anws reached home 10+.. hadta do econs mcq test, then other hw..

so sianz. but life's liddat. everyone's hating it. *sigh* miss the old times when i'd be standing in the sea of blue cheering my heart out.. now a bit different le.. but nvm.. prob going back again next year.. lol.. =)

2004-07-24T18:06:00.000+08:00

pple said i looked tired or sad today. hahahahaahahah. well.. morn was ok.. watching tv and stuff. but later i was gonna be late for band. daddy didnt wanna bring me to sch. thanks man. i realised that the rain wasnt that heavy after all. and band pract starts at 1045 on rainy days so i wasnt late. =/

after 'interaction time', in which we were briefed abt the new expectations and stuff, we went for lunch.. nyp as usual. haha.. after that was sectionals. haiz. i honestly derno what to do sometimes. it's like.. there's a difference doing sectionals with ur levelmates and with ur juniors. =/ yeah. but ok lar.. we had fun.. until we did quite a lot and got kinda sianz sianz. wanted to listen to the recording of Putzsa but it wasnt there (or some other crap). slacked a while in the band room before we went to the audi outside to comb with other brasses. ONLY THEN did we (the tpters) learn something. a bit lar.. so.. hopefully ms tan doesnt force us to play fast or something. cos i cant. and the notes are DAMN HIGH. high A. the sound sucks. and at the same time, i have to teach wei shan too.. kinda difficult to teach and pract at the same time.. and my playing already so lan.. think next time we comb with French horn.. maybe we'll be saved. i dont know.. still have to put aside one more day for band.. =/ think tues.. need to ask wei shan..

band ended. early. me and jessie went home tgt.. talked abt a lot of stuff.. esp abt sch.. time is so short.. haiz.. no time to do stuff.. then we both dui4 studies not much interest.. and now i'm FORCED to do hw.. teachers all say HAVE TO hand up tuts. used to get away with not doing. nvm. told her i kinda stressed.. have to do a lot of hw now.. haiz. nvm.. the talk was quite nice lar.. =)

went home and slept. still damn tired. haiz.

2004-07-23T20:58:00.000+08:00

haiz. the gp special prog hw was mostly on my mind the whole day. haiz haiz. didnt do anything ytd.. so slack. pe was really torturious. haiyo.. ran a lot a lot and jumped and whatnot. kaoz.. not my day. the rest of the day passed okok. got sc investiture. new sc.. =/ derno lar.

after cv (last period), a buncha us talked to Ms Tan abt dropping of subs and stuff.. haiz.. waiting for promos to be over.. so sianz. and taking 4 subs is eating my life. no time to do hw le.. haha ok. maybe i nvr make use of my time.. always think of going out before doing hw.. =/ nvm. anws.. supposed to go meet Mr Ong at 445 to do the gp hw in sch. but in the end after talking to ms tan, it was already 5++pm. took forever to find mr ong.. by then alrady past 530. nvm.. got my student pass back.. then hadta go for sectionals liaoz. so i have to pass it up on mon.. =/ and the second set by thurs. see how ba..

yuan bing came back to take us for sectionals.. haha.. worked on basics.. notes.. my sound sucks as usual. =/ haiz.. stuff stuff. my tuning sucks too. haiz haiz. derno lar.. take one day at a time ba.

sianz.

2004-07-22T19:37:00.000+08:00

damn tired.. everyday also the same.. haiz.. but ytd was fun.. wed right.. short day.. guess what. we had 8 periods straight. thanks to that woman. stole our only break. too bad if i went for econs lect a bit later just cos i went to buy pizza. no break then i damn hungry. after chem lect also ordered 4 nuggets. haha.. still ate lunch and stuff. *shrugs* so WhaT lor. from now on some of us have to live wed without a break until 145. kaoz.. unreasonable or what. anws chem spa was liddat liddat.. think mine kinda screwed cos a lot of pple wrote a lot more stuff. nvm. then band.. played Putsza or something.. still need to improve.. haha.. so many wrong notes. and they all play until damn fast.. haiyo. think we're playing it for some comb thing with cat high. kaoz.. tmr's sectional must pract it.. hopefully i can use more air.. but i doubt so.. =(

then after band i met liru.. haha.. thanks for waiting for me in sch girl!! haha.. =) yeah.. then we went to causeway point.. ate at mac then went to watch mean girls.. haha.. if u dont wanna know what the movie's abt, dont read this para. lindsay lohan quite chio.. actually all the girls also lar.. haha.. INCLUDING janice. haiz.. just derno why they put her with some guy at the end of the show. so unnecessary. the plot kinda predictable, but it was still nice, the way they built everything up and stuff. haha.. and it was worth it.. at the end of it i wondered what i was doing outside, when there's a ton of hw to be done and stuff. haha.. but hw not that impt.. having fun is impt too.. haha.. kinda glad that i went out and relaxed a bit.. =) btw.. liru.. haha.. love songs are ok with me.. really.. haha..

reached home arnd 10pm le.. then online.. haha.. as usual i fell asleep while still online.. really sorry to those i left hanging.. haha.. nvr do hw.. =/

then today.. sianz.. long day.. but nvm.. overall i was just waiting for it to be over with. =/ got back report slip. LEFT IT IN MY ECONS TYS and it's sitting in my locker now. so sad.. couldnt show Puay Sung my report slip. yup. went to amk to meet her after sch.. then go to some food place selling jap food and ate dinner there.. talked abt stuff.. haha.. quite a lot of things happen.. derno what happed to the section lar.. must say the seniors predicted it a long long time ago.. derno.. respect for seniors is one of the major things a junior shld have. yeah. attitude counts. a lot. after that we went to mos to sit and talk cos there not so hot.. bought the frozen strawberries.. haha.. 1st time eating them.. and the jap food too.. lol.. then it was kinda cold there.. left the place.. went home.. haha.. but nice lar.. haiz.. havent gone back to cedar since CNY or something. i derno.. no time.. havent collect cert also. =/ nvm.

just liddat lor.. these 2 days have been quite fun.. go out so much.. haha.. then today left all 5 gp articles to do.. plus other hw of cos.. die lar. if nvr do then have to stay back on fri.. got sectionals so cannot.. haiz.. sianz.

PS: to ten@city. who the hell are u? pls dont post sick stuff on the board. all it does is make pple sick. honestly. i'd type more stuff but i dont wanna nag. and what if u're a girl? haha.. if u ARE, let me know k.

2004-07-21T00:39:00.000+08:00

haiz. dont have time to blog le.. haiz.. nvm.. just say a few things..

sun.. park performance at bishan park.. haiz.. derno what was wrong that day.. everyone like damn tired liddat.. i also play until no air le.. haiz.. and ben's mom said that tpts damn soft.. haha.. ben.. i'm not sad lar.. cos i also know.. 4 pple against the band.. =/ and we all low stamina.. nvm.. see what to do abt it lar.. must pract outside more often..

mon.. cant really rmb anything.. the day just passed.. after sch go band room and slack until they hadta close it.. so shuang.. air-con.. =) then on the way home we saw a dead bird on the drain.. so poor thing.. haiz..

tues. today. hate tues.. good thing it passed ok fast.. lesson after lesson.. keni so good.. can sleep.. haha.. i wanna sleep also cannot.. =/ phys lesson best.. me, keni and lynn came in 20 mins late.. just cos we went down to take phys tys and erm.. i bought nuggets. =X haiyoz.. pe just run 8 rounds + 2 warm up. not too bad. after sch supposed to go watch zh in a rugby match but finished le or something.. then me, eli and liru went to northpoint to slack.. hadta settle my dinner.. yup.. talked all the way until 8++pm then go home.. haha.. damn nice to be able to catch up on stuff again.. =) nowadays mon everyone like not very free.. haiz.. mon got choir, wed got band.. =(

still have a ton of hw to do. supposed to finish phys by wed (tmr). still havent started. but i have to do it lar.. sianz..

2004-07-17T22:43:00.000+08:00

Band Investiture.

great day. haha... love all the times with the band. just so fun. sometimes a bit sianz sianz, but hey.. it's better than sch ANYTIME. went to Hougang point in the morn to buy some more pres for the seniors.. 3 boxes of chocos, 1 flower, 1 card. yup. then go sch for band..

slacked for the first 1 hour or so.. me, nortilla and ben tan still go canteen eat lunch when they were doing warm ups. haha.. bo bian.. we all nvr eat lunch.. but anws there wasnt much food left in the canteen. meaning that we ate something really small. anws went back and played thru the songs. after that go hall.. move instrum.. slack and stuff..

wait wait wait wait. damn hungry cos no lunch. plus damn cold cos the aircons were at -2deg or something. finally the j2s arrived at arnd 4pm. played fanfare.. not too good cos i already no li4 to chui1. haiz.. then we went to the stage in the audi.. played thru the 3 pieces.. Queen's Park rocked!! zl's solo was PERFECT. 10/10 for everything. haha.. everyone was cheering after he played it. =) damn proud of him. a lot a lot of pple also damn proud of him.. zw.. zz etc etc. haha.. =D the next 2 songs.. just okok lo.. heal the world and hawaii.. =/ no strength, no mood, no air, no beat.. it just doesnt feel like the band room.. sad lar.. but yar.. they said it was ok. zz said she could hear me.. so.. =/

immediately after that i left the audi for a while with Audrey. then came back.. they were giving out the certs and batons to the j2s.. =) then there were the best section (clarinet), best player (desmond), and best SL (jeremy goh and desmond) prizes. also got special prizes for special pple.. haha.. zz (zhen zhi) got the puntual award.. haha.. so cute.. new exco was announced.. ALL GOT IN!! congrats man!! =D damn happy for them!! pres-duan jie, vp-yong chuan, qm-frankie and lixin, welfare heads-keni and han ming, librarians-anna, shaun, lynn, treasurer-shallin, secretary-seek fong, student conductor-wey man. yup.. then invite the music comm (the SLs) on stage, give something (i think), then announced new music comm.. cant believe i hugged zz for so so long.. wahaha.. next they presented the exco seniors with erm.. pressies.. it's some big card with a swim suit stringed on. damn funny lo.. =P

next was tons of photo takings.. slacked arnd.. then ate dinner.. steamboat sia.. quite nice.. the bee hoon also damn yummy. ate until quite full.. and the atmosphere was good.. cosy.. the whole brass section tgt.. =) haha.. and the food was good. what more can i say? =) we slacked arnd.. saw the new exco's dance performance.. it's so cool ok!! haha.. they rock. the pple are not bad lar.. =) yup.

oh yar.. forget to add.. it's yong lin's bdae.. so after we sang a bdae song for him, everyone was chanting 'kiss kiss kiss kiss..' wahaha.. the ending u ownself think lar.

then there's this tie incident. SUPER idioticating. derno wth was up. me, jessie and wei shan's ties put on the chair outside the band room.. then after everything i go find.. only left 2.. mine gone sia.. wanted to kill lor.. =/ haiz.. later Alson found a tie in the canteen.. on the floor somemore.. it's not mine but it'll have to do lar.. haiyo.. so sad.. miss my tie.. =( and i tie until so nice somemore.. nvm.. now it'll be longer.

yeah.. the section gave zz a soft toy rabbit with black sunglasses.. it's wrapped.. then got one pink rose poked into the wrapping.. and a card pasted to the side.. then got chocos somemore.. haha.. =) hope she liked it.. =)

k lar.. a whole buncha stuff.. was fun overall.. thou tiring.. yar.. =) haha.. cant wait for tmr's performance.. hopefully nothing gets screwed up. =)

2004-07-16T22:20:00.000+08:00

haiz.. came to sch damn early today just cos the bus arrived earlier than usual. so a lot of pple missed it.. the bus was DAMN EMPTY. yeah.. took 10mins or less to reach sch.. haiz.. in the end all the pple who missed it either came by taxi or were late.

pe was ok.. had bballs to train with so.. it was fun lar.. =) then break, then econs lect.. came in kinda late cos we still went to change after the bell rang. but nvm.. ms tengara's last lecture.. haiz.. gp was ok.. we came late.. so there's hw.. haiyo.. and guess what? my name was on the board with an asterisk next to it. it's the GP special programme. pple whose names are up either failed one or both gp tests and their reading files are not done up that well. those with an asterisk are those who didnt pass up the reading file in the first place. i was the only girl who didnt pass up.. haiz.. maths lect.. sucky.. mass cv was ok.. video was ok.. then ming wei was sleeping the whole time or something.. damn funny.. =) so things werent take boring lar..

lunch.. queued FOREVER for chicken mushroom horfun. haiyo.. we wanted to hop over to the other queue.. but got complications lar.. so bo bian.. ended up eating grilled fish and spag. lol.. nice.. =) oh yar.. then chem so WhaT lo.. i really didnt know tha they changed the classroom venue.. so all of us went to 1115. stoned there for a good 15 mins before we started calling the rest. they were at 1114. then when we got there, mr ng said to someone to 'stop faking it'. haiyo.. we really didnt know.. so yar.. maths test sucked big time.

CLAO. got into HUGE trouble just cos i didnt raise my hand in agreement with the statement 'it is wrong that everytime u have to wait for the teacher to tell u to take out ur pens before u do it.' haiz.. so yar.. then she asked me if i didnt think it's wrong.. haiz.. then i said that yar it's wrong. 'then y didnt u raise ur hand? (translated)' 'cos i didnt feel like raising my hand' 'can u be so ren4 xing4?' 'no' 'what if next time u so ren4 xing4?' 'then i get out of the class' 'ok next time u stand outside the classroom' the next 35 mins or so was hell. almost every qn also she ask me ans. haiz.. damn fricking lo.. just ONCE i didnt feel like raising my hand and she picked on me. =/

good thing the next period was better. more lighthearted.. and tengara gave all of us a personalised card.. damn sweet of her.. =) also shared some stuff with us.. hmm yar.. she let us off early. BUT WOW I hADTA STAY FOR GP THING. yeah.. the prog.. do 5 newpaper articles a week, each with it's own task to do. haiz.. as if i dont have enough work to think abt doing. LOL.

band rawked. as usual. =P yuan bing came back.. played heatherwood.. argh.. still not so good.. but mroe ok than some other day.. =) other songs were ok too.. thou there WERE mistakes and stuff.. but they said the volume was louder, sound nicer, zl's solo was ok. haha.. so.. hopefullt tmr and sun will be ok too.. went home with the exco on probation peeps.. haha.. cos i didnt wanna disturb a certain pair. wahaha.. was damn hungry so i got stuff from ntuc. guess that's all to my day ba..

really sorry that this entry is long and boring and stuff.. but i'm just typing the stuff in my head. haiz.. yeah.. and sorry for the angsty stuff below.. =/

2004-07-15T22:08:00.000+08:00

great. ONE DAY i finally tried to settle myself down to do hw and i cant find the blardy maths tys. how to do liddat?? i give up. life is seriously fricked up. i dont wanna care.. GOD. so f-ed up. wanna bang something.. argh.. i need a psychiatrist or something. too much stress sia.. ON WHAT?? GOD KNOWS. every day.. living is.. not worth it.. god knows how many times i've thot abt the reasons for living. and god knows how many ans i came up with. it's damn pathetic.

told mommy abt the PTM thing. she said she wanna go. i'm handing the form to daddy to sign the not going part. PLS LO. i'm already doing ok in my studies. WHAT MORE DO YOU PPLE WANT??? mommy wanna see the form teacher. i already told her she's young and stuff. DO YOU NEED TO KNOW? why.. why cant pple just leave me alone sometimes..

the comps are irritating me.. daddy doesnt even wanna fix the best one.. that's goodbye to all my songs, photos, and whatnot. MY WHOLE DAMN ACCOUNT. mommy is so.. argh. thanks to her and her packing i've lost the blardy book. cant do my work. i dont know what the hell to do with myself anymore. just wanna break down. leave me alone..

today passed quite fast.. then sectionals.. ok.. at least zl can play his solo properly.. towards the end we slacked in the band room. had a long discussion abt religion. he said something.. something like i (refering to me) like the freedom in being a free thinker.. thot abt it damn long.. yeah it's true. i realise that ALL MY GODDAM LIFE i've been wanting freedom.. ONE THING. if only it was that simple..

so many things i cant let go of.. cant release.. feel damn trapped sometimes. SICK OF BEING WHAT PPLE WANT ME TO BE. that's why sometimes i'm so kb. just cos i feel like it.. so guyish.. cos i dont wanna be girly. DOES A GIRL HAVE TO BE GENTLE AND STUFF LIKE?? i dont think so. freedom. cos i have my own beliefs.. whatever they are.. and yeah.. that's partly why i'm so rebellious.. esp at home. sick of pple telling me what to do.

haiz.. life is so fricking tiring. just wish that i could do whatever i want.. one day.. haiz.. why does life have to be so f-ed up?? and derno y these few days i'v been throwing f words arnd esp in band. oh yar.. one thing.. i like band cos i'm freer.. haiz..

all the teachers want hw to be done now.. i know i've been escaping it for abt 1 term liao.. but now cannot.. haiz.. and it's not like i wanna do my work lo. now daddy's nagging me for putting my notes in front of me and not doing anything. hah. like i CAN do something liddat.

not feeling that great. so PLS dont piss me off.. god.. even zl said i shld control my temper. tmr's another day.. SUX. cant wait for it to be over with.. only looking forward to band.. it's been great since derno when.. still have to improve.. still got performance.. investiture.. settle pres.. F hw.. meeting puay sung on mon.. cant wait.. =) been ages since i saw her..

i miss my first 3 months.. if only i could turn back time..

2004-07-14T21:39:00.000+08:00

frick. bad day.. haiz.. ok.. start with ytd. tues sia.. hate tues cosa pe and tutorials and crap liddat. so long derno for what. and 4 periods of phys. can die.. haiz.. got back phys.. 50% D. pe was horrible. then after that i went to the band room to slack. the air-con so shuang.. ended up going with the exco on probation and chee tek and joel to J8 to buy stuff.. haha.. i so extra. but nvm lar.. quite fun.. came home damn tired.. arnd 9 liddat.. both comps used.. so i went to nap.. shei zhi i just slept thru.. haiz. some pple turned off the alarm i think. =/ tons of hw not done. haiz. damn slack. frick lar..

then today. lessons passed kinda fast cos i wasnt really listening half the time.. haiz.. phys got new teacher le.. still ask us to bring phys tys.. anws phys lesson=sit-copy-talk session. haha.. so it was ok lar.. blah..

band. haiz.. what can i say.. deproved.. no confidence lar.. sight read 2 songs.. both were horrible.. dowan play.. last time those songs were easier.. and they sounded nicer.. haiz.. crap. hawaii five-o sucked to hell. have to pract.. zhenzhi came back for a while.. think she got hear us play Heal the world.. that one okok.. but my sound sucked. dry throat. who tell u to eat so much sweets. and peanuts. just finished one pack. so yar.. DUH we play better when we're relaxed.. today like so pressurising.. then somemore they say my pi qi became worse. haha.. big deal.. still got fanfare to play.. dont think we're that ready.. =/ pract pract pract.

after band ended, me and zl practed a while.. somemore got wey man to listen to us blow.. quite ok lar. wey man say my sound is ok.. =/ hope so ba.. i know i play out more with hawaii five-o. haha.. so AA. SIANZ. think can manage for easy songs lar.. btw felt DAMN BAD when zl couldnt play the solo for Queen's Park.. haiz.. pple prob thinking why i'm not playing.. like i just take easy parts liddat.. haiyo.. so see how how lo.. if he cant by sun or something then i see what to do.. but he got pract lo.

left sch.. went to causeway point to buy pres.. haha.. found a pink rabbit.. BUT THERE WERE PEN MARKS ON ONE EAR. wtf lo. asked the cashier if got more.. dont have.. so wei shan and zl going lot 1 to see if got another rabbit.. only bought shades from there.. wahaha.. the rabbit is DAMN CUTE. and with shades it's nicer. =) then i go home lo.. let ws and zl go lot 1 themselves. haiyo..

liddat lo. so much work to do.. sianz.. tmr got double gp and double chi.. so sianz.. then sectionals.. fri got night band pract.. sat investiture.. sun performance.. =/ but band is nice when the songs are playable.. only 1 comp working. great. gotta get outta here.

2004-07-12T21:50:00.000+08:00

got so much work to do.. haiz.. no mood to do. prob end up with lack of sleep. and tmr still got pe. sux lar.. derno.. just feel like sitting here listening to the same song again and again.. haiz.. ren bu ke mao xiang.. so yeah.. empty inside.

anws.. sch.. sianz.. got chi oral.. stumbled a little.. BUT i wasnt that scared.. calmed myself down quite a bit.. then go there and just say lor.. half the time i think i didnt make much sense. but the invigilators understood a bit lar. that's sort of an improvement. =/ read a whole lotta wrong words. heck.

those who finished went to class for pw.. haiz.. was hoping everyone would just slack in the canteen until all of us were done.. but nvm.. =/ pw was so-so.. commented on some articles. haiyo.. must be done by wed. doubt i can.. already got so much other work to do. so sianz.

after sch they wanted to do the interview. that means bye to the monday gathering. haiz.. missed it.. it was one of the things that made life more bearable. haiz.. and we couldnt interview the teachers cos most of them not arnd. ended up doing ONE interview from 2 students. haha.. choir pple. got a call from some zhu tou (eh sorry k.. dont mean it in a bad way. haha.) so i went to yck mrt.. then go home le..

econs 60% B. thank god it wasnt 59% k.. haiz..

-i knew life wasnt gonna be that easy. but nobody told me it was gonna be this hard either-

2004-07-10T18:28:00.000+08:00

chi listening was ok i guess.. nothing much.

then band later.. after a bit of warm ups, we ran thru some songs.. haiyo.. we need sectionals.. but after lunch at nyp, came back and did a whole lot more warm ups.. then played some songs.. was okok lar.. ms tan was there.. HAIZ. hopefully more tpters come along. some songs really sucked.. as in we couldnt play.. eg heatherwood portrait. but some others were ok lar.. hinamari, hawaii five-o (the zoo song. wahaha.), queens park, latin gold, big fun, stand by me etc etc. quite happy that for some songs me and jessie gave zhong long the 1st tpt parts. then can share the burden. yeah. sick of solos. so paiseh to play. but at least today i played louder.. just blew thru. stamina still sucks. by the time they played big fun (last song), i already cannot play le.. so soft and notes all squeezed out. haiz.

frankie says the tpters have to find SOME days to come back and have sectionals. that's how much we need to improve.. haiz.. and.. really sorry i kb u today k? thou i know that 'if sorry got cure then police for wat'.. but yar.. dont take anything i say to heart.. =/ yeah.

came home.. cannot sleep cos mommy removed the bedsheet along with everything else on the bed. haiz. but i ate peanuts so everything's fine. plus there's Malcom in the Middle now. great. still have to do stuff. =/ sianzz..

2004-07-09T20:35:00.000+08:00

today's shitty. haiz.. had headache esp towards the end.. nan dao i nvr sleep enough meh.. slept practically the whole time ytd except for 2 hours online. damn.. after pe also tou yun. now i know what jessica's going thru.. haiyo.. sianz..

then nothing much happed today.. got gp presentation.. haha.. it was nice that we were prepared lar.. =) then gp ct 26/50. C5. chi 48.5%.. C6. whew. no need to go see teacher.. it's so gang gang.. haiz.. hope mommy doesnt go for PTM.. let's just say she's not going if i can help it.

then went home.. at first things were ok. then derno why suddenly it starting sucking. ate cereal. one word: sick. i'm nvr touching the banana nut crunch again. it's like food doesnt taste nice anymore. the milk totally sucked. wtf. then go sleep.. woke up arnd 820. kaoz.. then the main comp spoil. no wonder mabel's using the 2nd best. left with the 3rd. and SOME IDIOTS changed some BLARDY settings or something. the fonts were EXTRA LARGE. BLACK BG. looked like some NEGATIVE. frick. hadta do something abt it. at least it looks much better now. NORMAL. derno why the colour resolution still sucks after it's at high colour. whatever lar. then there's NOTHING to drink/eat in the house. i cant stand drinking a can of root beer everyday. EVERYDAY. not that i'm sianed of it or something. my stamina already so jia liat and i'm drinking gassy drinks like there's no tmr. then i asked mommy to buy juice or something. and she INSISTED on getting squash. hello?? cant she just listen for once? squash so ma fan. then she still tell daddy to buy squash. WTH. just wait till daddy comes home. i'm gonna start drinking tap water or something. cant eat dinner.. it's.. not nice. haiz. food is SO BLAND.

ok. that's a whole buncha crapping. haiz.. good thing tmr no sch.. i'm close to killing someone. buay tahan sch le.. haiz.. chi listening tmr. then band. prob sectionals.. ms tan wanna see some sections. tpters sure have to go.. haiz. hope i dont freak out in front of her. nvm..

gotta do gp.. and pw.. and chi..

2004-07-08T22:44:00.000+08:00

derno wth was going on today. haiz... ytd sleep so late just cosa some blardy gp essay.. in the end also nvr hand in today. then kena headache most of the day. frick lo..

econs essay 7/25.. chi 77/170 so far. kaoz.. chi so shitty.. think i'll pass with D7. whatever lar.

damn tired thou i've been sleeping since i got home.. bo bian.. who tell me take caffeine ytd.. couldnt sleep until past 3. frick. then derno today how.. no mood to do hw.. but cant slack le.. sianz.

2004-07-07T20:13:00.000+08:00

good thing today was a short day. or i'd buay tahan or something.. not in the mood for lessons and stuff. LATE for sch. just cos i missed the last bus.. and the next bus took 20mins. WTF. anws there were SO MANY late comers. song. gaya, suat..

slacked the day away. counted down to the end of sch.. haiz.. long sia.. got back chem.. haiz. so pissing. 59%... C. same thing happed for maths lo. wanna kill pple le. then ben tan still tell me he got B for chem. 60% sia.. kaoz. if i'm lucky i'd pass all subs.. but gp prob fail.. and i derno abt chi.. shit lar. tmr getting back..

chem pract.. just copied the calculations from somebody.. it was like some of the girls just went to the back and referenced. haha. think my results kinda off but heck lar. haiz.

oh yar.. band was ok lar. got to see band pple.. so of cos i was happy lar. budden the playing.. haiz. without zz i feel so handicapped.. shit lar.. anws Yuan Bing came back (for someone.. haha) and helped lar.. if not u can forget abt hearing the tpts. haiz.. so many solos lo.. derno what they were thinking.. haiz.. but good thing most of the songs jessie was playing the same part as me.. haiz.. wish there were more tpters.. how to survive liddat?? then Ms tan wanna go back to the basics.. so there was this new method book. hope it helps lar..

left sch almost immediately after band ended.. peied jessie home.. haha.. got to eat chocos in the bus and stuff.. =)

came home and slept. sianz..... have to do gp essay and chi wb by tmr.. then plus the chem i wanna do for her.. haiyo.. dont feel like doing gp.. sianz. gonna go offline soon.. haiz.

sch sux. tmr got nothing to look forward to. haiz...

first day of sch

2004-07-06T20:17:00.000+08:00

officially today was the first day of sch. back to the same old timetable. sianz.. haiz.. went to sch just on time (as usual). blahblah.. maths lect first. blardy boring. i dont know how come i keep on sleeping during maths lects. haiz. ever since the maths lect during the hols, i've been feeling sleepy ALL THE TIME. and maybe cos i woke myself up at 10 min intervals last night just to pack my stuff. hah. in the end i just woke up really early. haiz. damn tired. so i still dont know much abt wth is going on with maths.

phys tutorial next.. WOW. we're gonna change teacher.. haiz. i mean.. it's gonna be different lar.. and Mdm tay IS good. =/ she went thru motion in a circle and the 1st qn.. supposed to prepare more by tmr.. see how ba..

phys lect.. new topic. i cant rmb what it was. gravitational field stuff.. haiz.. bo mood. bored with sch as always.

BREAK!! ate.. duh.. but it was fun.. photocopied some tut.

econs.. got back mcq.. got new teacher.. but Ms tangara still arnd. so anws she grouped us. half the time we were just crapping anyhows. and more pple got to know abt mabel. later in the day terence said that even if i have a twin, he thinks he'd prefer my personality. wahaha.. it was nice to hear lar. but hey he hasnt gotten to know her yet. =/ haha.. was just happy lar.. not many pple would say that just liddat.. so.. =D haha..

next was the most exciting part of the day. WE WALKED THRU THE AUDI!!! haha.. more than 10 of us. it was in between periods.. then audi gonna have J2 lect.. but we just went from the 1st floor side door, past the lecturer and exited thru the 2nd floor other side door. hahaha.. fun sia!! and it was damn damn funny. once we emerged from the door we just laughed like crazy. LOL. and some teacher saw us.. but wth!! haha.. loved it.. so ci4 ji1!!

gp.. new teacher.. cos Karen Tan took childcare leave. mr ong is ok lar.. and the hol hw can pass up on mon.. havent touched a thing.. sianz..

gp lect sucked. i'm gonna fail my essay. big deal.

maths. got back test paper. 59%. C. big deal. haiz.. APGP sucks.

lunch.. didnt eat cos i already ate. wanted to find my pencil box but there was some J2 class in 413. in the end nvm.. just sat and stuff..

chem.. substitute teacher came in.. at least she's chio lar. =) haha.. and we had some fun during her lesson thou she was going thru tuts. nice girl. =) can just laugh and stuff. haiyo.. think i'll do the chem tut for her lar.. haha.. =)

plab was.. boring.. almost fell asleep just listening to her. then some practical.. liddat lo..

then PE. wth.. he talked so long still want us to run 4 rounds. siao sia. in the end we ran 2 rounds and heck it. haha.. went home with lynn.. and i found my pencil box!! alright! missed it the whole day.. haha..

boring day sia. tmr's gonna be better (i hope). there'll be band.. fewer lessons. =/ yeah. miss all the band pple.. haha.. and miss my tpt.. prob wont be able to blow that great. 1 whole month nvr touch le.. but nvm.. haiz.. syf next year.. =/ *sigh*

class outing

2004-07-05T21:09:00.000+08:00

ok sorta.. think less than half of the class went.. i thot i was gonna be late. haiz. shei zhi i was there earliest. and it was exactly 3pm. wth. vic was on the same train but he went to buy some drink. that left me standing there. then keni and boon heng came. then qin you.. then jian wei.

so we set off to heeren i think.. met up with eli, siew wei and zong han, then han wei also appeared. haha.. went to some shop.. was finding some.. stuff. haha.. shalnt specify. bought it.. quite nice lar. =) then stoned around a bit before we decided to go to swensons to eat. and sorta give zh something.

ordered a giant earthquake, a firehouse, and 2 fries. haha.. firehouse came first.. then we put it in front of zh and started singing him a bdae song.. think he was quite surprised lar.. cos it's not yet his bdae. but nvm.. nice lar.. then got take pics of him and stuff.. and there was a candle!! damn cool. so he made a wish and stuff. then the earthquake came.. super yummy.. haha.. and lime sherbet rocks. =) this time can eat finish cos got so many pple.. last time with keni and antonio, we ate until wanna bao4 le. yeah.. and the fries were great too. lol. swenson rocks. oh yar.. saw jessie too!! haha.. damn chio sia.. omg.. haiz.. almost couldnt recognise her.. she cut her hair le.. anws i was trying to call her.. but her phone in her bag or something.. so later i just called out to her.. but it was nice lar.. so qiao. =)

then xiao min came joined us.. decided to go play pool at kovan or hougang plaza. eli and qy hadta go home.. xm and zh stayed in orchard. the rest of us went to the mrt station to go to hougang plaza.

pool. played there the last time after pw.. kaoz.. seng gim, yek wai and jun ming all damn pro.. haha. but there's a diff playing with them and playing with the pae 2204 pple.. haha.. at least today i played ok. that time was really really shitty. haha.. mainly cos i get help from my partner. bh will point where i have to aim or something. then i just whack the ball. haha.. so fun. not bad lar.. wahaha.. luckily i got all the easier balls. anws yong liang came halfway while we were playing.

after two games, vic, keni and me left. siew wei left earlier.. haiz so yeah.. the remaining pple were all guys. =/ came home and slacked online.

tmr sch starts argh. buay tahan.. the whole hols i didnt touch ANYTHING. not one newspaper cutting. just hoping that Mrs tan wont come after me.. and there's still gp research, essay outline and whatever. mark reminded me to do clao on sun morn. haha.. good thing no clao tmr.. then there's chem maths and phys.. haiz.. sux man.

and portugal lost 0-1.. damn saddening.. why they turn defensive?? haiyo.. but greece was ok lar.. their strategy worked i guess.. still prefer portugal to win.. nvm..

HAVE to do some work tonight. and pack all the stuff that's occupying the space on my bed. sigh. this sucks.. and liru's sick.. poor girl.. hope she gets well soon..

stuff

2004-07-05T00:21:00.000+08:00

ok great. god knows why on earth i'm here. but anws.. used to have a private blog.. hah. but it seems fun to let others read the stuff u're writing.. so yar.. haha..

just to say.. i'm really sorry for any swear words i use.. it just happens. and life sucks. so that's why it's impt to use them. yeah.

sianz. soccer starting in more than 2 hours. portugal vs greece. hoping portugal will win.. they're good. and at least they attack. things would be boring if pple just keep on defending. haiz.. but portugal lost to greece before.. so.. see how lar..

anws today.. sucky lar.. woke up late.. cont sleeping.. ate some food.. and i spent the whole aft sleeping. a few aunties came over, god knows why. haiz. mommy disturbed me just to show them the room. great. but after that i turned on the aircon and it was ok. hah. omg.. i slacked the whole day away.. could have gone out.. but.. nah..

k that's it.. i gtg sleep before the match starts.. haha.. still have to call sabrina!! must wake up on time..